


Open My Eyes

by TeganPriceHarkness



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:00:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 31,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22174453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeganPriceHarkness/pseuds/TeganPriceHarkness
Summary: Annalise is back in front a disciplinary board, Tegan is forced to pull rank on her friend, and Michaela has found a new religion.
Relationships: Annalise Keating/Eve Rothlo, Annalise Keating/Robert Hsieh, Annalise Keating/Tegan Price, Frank Delfino/Bonnie Winterbottom
Comments: 84
Kudos: 310





	1. The Church of Tegan Christ

Over 20 years into her career and Annalise was _tired_ of fighting. Fighting at Middleton. Fighting with judges. Fighting with Nate, who loved her one day and hated her the next. Fighting with Eve, who started an affair with Annalise just to turn around and marry Vanessa anyway. ( _"The baby,"_ she'd stammered weakly, finally running out of Annalise's place under a hail of heavy objects.) Fighting with Robert, who insisted that he wasn't cheating on her. If he didn't eat such a mean pussy, Annalise would've dropped his ass ages ago.

And how many times was Annalise going to wind up on the wrong side of a disciplinary board for one reason or another? Except time, there was no governor coming to destroy her cases, no ungrateful-ass kids fucking up her life again, no cheating boyfriend or wishy-washy lover who was no longer attracted to her pregnant wife. This time, Annalise only had herself to blame. Her hot temper, her drinking problem, her jealousy, her ego, her cowardice...her desire. All of these factors had led to today's hearing.

Tegan, to her credit, had the integrity to stop by Annalise's office first thing Monday morning to her know that she'd reported Annalise to the senior brass. "They're calling an emergency disciplinary hearing at three o'clock this afternoon. There was no anger in her voice, just resignation. She took note of Annalise's expression. "Try to act like you care," she advised. 

Tegan made it to the door before Annalise, who was still coming to grips with everything that was happening, could finally speak. “Why’d you do it, Tegan?” She’d been asking herself that even before she left the party that Sunday evening.

Tegan turned around. “I _had_ to, Annalise.” Tegan’s voice was filled with pain. “If I hadn’t, someone else would have reported what happened and I’d be in a similar situation – having to explain to the brass why I _didn’t_ report it. I’m the managing partner,” she went on, firm in her decision even under Annalise’s ice-cold glare. “It’s my job to manage things around here.”

If Annalise took a shot every time Tegan said the words _managing partner_ , she would die of alcohol poisoning. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

Tegan _did_ know that wasn’t what Annalise meant, but she didn’t acknowledge that, nor did she acknowledge her part in all of this. That irked Annalise even further. _Why did you act like you did last night?_ Annalise wanted to ask, but the cool, nonchalant look on Tegan's face made Annalise aim below the belt. “Is this all because I chose Robert instead of you?” 

If Tegan had fired Annalise on the spot for such an accusation, Annalise wouldn't have blamed her. It was _such_ a low blow and completely unfair to Tegan. "Three o'clock. Don’t be late," Tegan finally said in her _I-thought-you-were-my-friend_ voice. "'Cause I'm not making any more excuses for you, Annalise." 

Words said to really sting. "What if I can’t make it?” Annalise asked sarcastically. “I told my client I’d have lunch with him at one.” 

“You lied,” Tegan said over her shoulder as she left. “Be there or I'll sign off on your termination myself." 

There was nothing for Annalise to do but cancel her lunch meeting. She could’ve moved it up to 11:00 or so, but she just didn’t feel like being bothered. No way she would be able to properly handle business, and her clients deserved her undivided attention. Besides, there was no use for Annalise to bust her ass for C&G if she was about to be handed her walking papers. She could handle being fired, but she would be damned if she blew off the hearing altogether. Even if Annalise had no defense for what she'd done the night before, she wasn't about to go down without a fight.

* * *

Around noon, Michaela stormed into Annalise’s office, eyes blazing and jaw clenched. “Ohhhhh, no,” Annalise protested, taking note at the indignant look on the young attorney’s face. “You’re not about to come barging into my office on behalf of your other mommy. This is between Tegan and me, Michaela, so stay out of it. She should’ve handled this in-house instead of running to the higher-ups.”

“Maybe Tegan could’ve handled it _in-house_ if you had acted like a fool _in-house_ ,” Michaela answered. “But it didn’t happen _in-house_. It happened at a public C&G function."

"It wasn't a formal function," Annalise pointed out. "Just some corny casino night party-"

"Hasn’t Tegan overlooked enough of your fuckups?" Michaela interrupted. "The Middleton mistake, your ‘spa’ trip, how you nearly tanked the Ruthie’s Burgers account-”

“You watch your mouth, little girl,” Annalise warned. “You _just_ passed the bar. That doesn't mean you have the right to talk me to me however you want to." 

“When are you going to grow up and take responsibility for what you did, Annalise?” Michaela exploded. “ _You_ were the one who got wasted at a Caplan and Gold function just five weeks off your probation! _And you threw a drink in Tegan’s face._ Or were you too wasted to remember?”

_Oh, yeah. That._

Maybe it was because Annalise still couldn’t admit that she’d brought this all on herself, or maybe Annalise was just sick of defending herself against the founder of the Church of Tegan Christ. Maybe it was because Michaela was wearing the Louboutins that Tegan bought for her to wear for her law school graduation. Whatever it was, something compelled Annalise to say, “You know this is all because I chose to be with Robert instead of her, right? This is Tegan's way of getting back at me.”

The words stuck in Annalise’s throat. She didn’t believe that. Why she kept repeating it, Annalise didn't know. Meanwhile, Michaela laughed outright. “Cut it out!” Annalise ordered. “And what’s so damn funny?”

“You, Annalise. _You’re_ the joke.” The idea that a woman like Tegan would be so petty about who Annalise was sleeping with was ridiculous. “You’re right about one thing, though. This is definitely happening because you chose Robert over Tegan. But Tegan isn’t the one who’s pressed about that - _you are."_

The startled look on Annalise's face reaffirmed Michaela's vague theory about what was truly going on. Tegan’s affinity for Annalise was one thing, but this was the first time Annalise had been confronted with her attraction to Tegan. “You thought Tegan was going to pour out her heart to you when you hooked up Eve, didn't you?" Michaela taunted. "But Tegan came to me, not you. And now you hate her for getting over you and being with me.”

It was easy to forget how young Tegan had been when she passed the bar, or that the savant had been made a full-fledged Caplan and Gold partner before she turned 30. Tegan was only seven years Michaela’s senior - a perfectly reasonable age gap. And yet… _“You’re sleeping with **Tegan**?!” _

The twisted rage on Annalise’s face let Michaela know that she’d better not continue the joke. “Hell, no,” she admitted. “I just wanted to see the look on your face, that’s all.”

Michaela was about to make a point about jealousy and entitlement and getting over oneself, but Annalise's demeanor reduced Michaela to uncontrollable giggles all over again. She looked so _stupid_ with her mouth hanging open like some slack-jawed yokel, looking like she didn't know whether to cry or scream or both. _She's jealous_ , Michaela thought smugly. Annalise was jealous of Tegan's _non-existent_ girlfriend. As if Annalise didn't have a whole-ass boyfriend who-

Without warning, Annalise charged from the other side of her desk, grabbed Michaela by the collar and jerked the young lawyer to her feet. "Get the hell out of my office," she ordered between clenched teeth. "If you _ever_ come back in here uninvited, I swear to God that I will break your bony ass into pieces."

There was a time when Michaela Pratt nearly fainted with joy just being in Annalise's presence. Never again. "Get your hands off of me, old woman." Michaela's voice was infused with steel. "Or I'll ruin what's left of your beshitted little career."

Luckily, no one had seen what Annalise had done. _I'm going crazy,_ she thought as she let Michaela go. She was practically begging to be fired, or even disbarred. Michaela primly brushed her clothes back into place. “You know,” she commented, “you don’t have to worry about me coming to your office uninvited. This probably isn’t going to be your office for much longer.” She made a big show of looking around, then flashed a sweet smile at Annalise that was totally insecure. “I think I’m going to like it in here."

“Yeah? Well, this is still my office,” Annalise reminded Michaela. “So get out.”

“Have a nice hearing,” Michaela smiled. “You tend to win them all anyway - God knows you've had enough practice. And who knows? Maybe Tegan’s feeling generous and she’ll bail your drunk ass out _again_. All's fair in love and employment.”

Michaela flounced out of the office while Annalise sat shaking in her chair, stewing in her own fury. Michaela had hit the bullseye square in the center when it came to Annalise’s feelings for Tegan. The worst part was that they both knew it.

TBC


	2. The Last Queen of Thotland

Michaela was feeling pretty good until she heard _"Pratt!!!"_ in that familiar voice that made her asshole clench. "Get in here!"

Tegan had been waiting for Michaela to leave Annalise's office since the moment Oliver mentioned that Michaela was in there. "What were you in Annalise's office talking about?" she demanded to know before Michaela could even gather her thoughts.

Even now, as a full-fledged attorney at Caplan and Gold, Michaela knew better than to lie. "You." Tegan's eyes narrowed. "I'm sorry, but I had to give Annalise a piece of my mind about what she did to you last night."

"That wasn't your place, _associate_ ," Tegan admonished. "Annalise may not be your boss, but she is about to be a junior partner here."

"If the disciplinary board gives her another pass," Michaela muttered under her breath without thinking.

"Excuse me? How do _you_ know about the board meeting?" It occurred to Tegan that Michaela knew a little too much about what was going on. "Are you spying on me again, Michaela?"

"I..." Michaela faltered. "I overheard you talking to the senior partners this morning while I was dropping off those files you needed."

"You mean you were _eavesdropping._ " Michaela didn't deny it. "And what did you tell Annalise, anyway?" Tegan asked, though she wasn't as angry as she sounded. Michaela was just being Michaela. Why be mad about it?

Michaela crossed her arms. "I told Annalise that she's mad at you because she chose Robert instead of you and you're not kissing her ass like she thought you would-"

"Watch your mouth, Pratt," Tegan interrupted sharply. "You're getting _way_ too familiar."

That was the second time in just five minutes that Michaela had been reprimanded for talking out of turn. Michaela pursed her lips, then blurted, "But it's true!" She was practically pleading with Tegan to listen. "Everything you've done for Annalise and it's like she barely even cares! What has Annalise ever done for you to earn your blind loyalty, anyway _? She's not good enough for you."_

"You're the _last_ person who can talk about loyalty, Pratt." Tegan pushed her chair backward from her desk and stood up. "And as for who's good enough for me, I could say the same thing about you. It wasn't like your phone was ringing from any other law firms when you graduated, was it?" 

Michaela gasped, and Tegan cursed herself for being so cruel. It wasn't her fault that Tegan was in this situation. "I'm sorry, Michaela. I didn't mean that. Really." Tegan walked from the other side of the desk and took Michaela's hands in hers. "I would trade my past for your future, Michaela. Know that."

 _"Really?"_ Michaela asked, disbelieving.

"Really," Tegan assured. "You told me once that you wanted to be just like me...baby girl, if I told you the things I've done to get where I am now, you'd never respect me again." Tegan cradled Michaela's face in her hands. "You and Laurel got me from under Jorge's thumb, Michaela. Don't think I don't appreciate that."

 _"Laurel."_ Michaela whispered. Tegan gave a faint nod. "She's safe, isn't she? And little Christopher?" Michaela dared to ask. "Oh, Tegan, please tell me..."

Tegan's eyes flicked over to Bonnie, who was standing in office doorway with a file in her hands. Bonnie knew no more about Laurel's whereabouts than anybody else, but Tegan knew that Bonnie could be trusted. "They're safe, Michaela. That's all I can tell you."

Michaela pressed her hands over her open mouth, did a happy little hop, then impulsively kissed Tegan on the cheek. "Alright, alright, _alright!"_ Tegan slapped Michaela away. "Get off me, Pratt." Tegan took a tissue from her desk and dabbed the tears from Michaela's eyes. "Boss bitch mode back on, okay?" Michaela nodded vigorously. "Go fix your face and get back to work. And for the love of God, keep your mouth closed for a change."

Michaela practically skipped out Tegan's conference office. With her gone, Tegan's demeanor changed, as it tended to do. "Lord, that child is needy," she muttered, flopping on her plush sharkskin couch. "I give her about an hour to tell every one of Annalise's old students that I know where Laurel is."

Bonnie hid a smile. Tegan's tough demeanor masked the fact that she was soft as cream. "You asked for Annalise's personnel files," she reminded Tegan. "I figured you'd want them before her disciplinary hearing. She told me about it," Bonnie added when Tegan looked surprised.

"Thanks." Tegan took the file in her hands, then tossed it on the table without a second glance. "God, I don't feel like dealing with this right now," she muttered. "It's not like it's going to change anything."

"Need a drink?" Bonnie offered. "You know the restaurant across the street has gin."

"No. Yes. No." Tegan shook her head. "Just talk to me, Winterbottom. I have a couple of hours to kill."

"Okay." Bonnie joined Tegan on the couch. "Do you have to sit on this panel? Since you called it?"

"Yes and no. I lay out what happened and my recommendation for Annalise's discipline. But that's just it - a recommendation. I don't have any way in what the board decides. That's all I can tell you about the hearing, Bonnie." Tegan winked at Bonnie. "So if you think you can pump me for information to take to Annalise-"

"I don't," Bonnie assured. "I just want to make sure you're okay. This can't be easy for you. Not just the hearing, I mean. I mean dealing with...all of this. Period."

Tegan cut her eyes at Bonnie. _"Buuuuut...?"_ she asked in a sarcastic, exaggerated tone. It would do no good to suggest to Bonnie that she was overstepping. Bonnie was just being Bonnie. Why be angry about it?

"But..." Bonnie chose her words carefully. "...this is hard on Annalise, too. She was up all night crying. She knows that she was wrong and that this is all on her."

Tegan tilted her head back and closed her eyes. She didn't want to think about Annalise crying. And she didn't want to think about the hand she had in Annalise's tears. "Good," she said. "Just as long as she knows that." But Tegan didn't really mean it.

* * *

Ever since the _Lahey vs. Commonwealth of Pennsylvania_ victory, Tegan had become something of a media darling. It was the kind of media attention that Annalise should have received after her tremendous Supreme Court win. But Annalise's quiet, reticent personality didn't translate well to radio or television. Annalise's buzz went as quickly as it came.

Tegan, on the other hand, was funny, sociable, and great with interviews. She was an excellent mentor of LGBT youth. When Ignacio, her dance partner at the Dominicano, opened a weekend camp beginning salsa dancers, it was common sense that Tegan would be his co-instructor. And when a prominent LGBT television show got Tegan to admit that she was newly single, she had her pick of virtually every gay and bisexual woman in Philadelphia. Everybody wanted a piece of the unicorn.

Tegan's attraction for Annalise never went away; rather, it faded, like a fever. No matter how hard Tegan wanted to dislike Robert, she lacked the energy to do so. Sure, he was corny and a bit dim-witted, but he was also thoughtful and kind, and he made Annalise smile in a way that Tegan hadn't seen in a long time. He escorted Annalise to salsa classes, making her less self-conscious in a room full of beginners. And when Robert learned that Tegan was fluent in Persian (courtesy of her ex-wife Cora), the last bricks in the wall between them crumbled at last.

But no matter her weekend plans - no matter the interviews or the dance camps or the never-ending supply of single women - Tegan's Sundays were for Annalise. For nearly a year, Tegan came by to wash, deep condition and braid Annalise's hair. Together, the two of them swapped stories, gorged on soul food and Nuyorican cuisine and laughed until their sides hurt. Tegan finally got Annalise to watch Game of Thrones _("So wait...her kids are her **brother's** kids, too?"), _and Tegan gracefully suffered through films from Prince's dreadful acting career. It was just another excuse for Tegan to be near Annalise, of course. But as Tegan's spare time became scarcer and scarcer - every Sunday, then every other Sunday, then whenever she could - Annalise found that she missed the ritual.

Over time, Annalise started to see that Tegan wasn't lonely, but _alone_. The third of seven children, Tegan spent many an afternoon in her youth styling the hair of her three younger sisters, now at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico with the rest of her family. Yes, Tegan clung to Annalise like a burr. Yes, she had seamlessly integrated herself into Annalise's inner circle. But didn't it make sense for Tegan to stick closely to the people she knew and trusted? Wasn't it perfectly normal for Tegan to get to know Frank through Bonnie, or for her to bond with Nate over the loss of their families while working on the Nate Senior trial? If scratching dandruff from Annalise's scalp on a Sunday afternoon was what kept Tegan centered, who was Annalise Keating - three-time rehab failure and lifelong adulterer - to judge? 

Making up with Nate, getting along with Robert, branching out socially...all of those things should have made Annalise happy. But if Tegan didn't know any better, she would have sworn that Annalise was almost jealous that she was giving Annalise space. That's when the flirty comments between them seemed to kick up a notch. _"Whatchu got on?"_ was a common greeting between the two women, and the double entrendes when Tegan did Annalise's hair were endless. "When are you coming over so I can get between your legs?" Annalise would tease, and Tegan would make a joke about how long it had been since she'd gotten some. "Dreaming about me?" Tegan would ask when Annalise would fall asleep while Tegan did her hair. Stroking the sides of her head until Annalise's eyes would flutter open, and then she would smile. Tegan lived for that smile. 

Now Annalise would comment on how hot Tegan looked in a dress or make some reference to her revolving door of women, almost - _but not quite_ \- suggesting that she would be better than any of them. "You're talking about that scrawny-assed box bitch that took you to lunch the other day? She would get her head crushed like a melon between your thighs, Tegan," Annalise joked the night before the fundraiser. "That is, if she's even good enough to make you snap 'em shut."

"Oh, and you are?" Headstrong boss bitch that she was, Tegan gave as good as she got. But now that Robert was in the picture and Tegan had more or less moved on, Annalise's flirting and teasing was starting to border on outright mockery. "I might be," Annalise answered. "Maybe one day you'll find out."

She wondered. 

One night, Annalise showed up at the Dominicano with Eve Rothlo on her arm, practically _begging_ Tegan to get jealous. Instead of giving Annalise the attention she was obviously craving, Tegan spent that evening casually bringing up Eve's wife and child at every turn. She took petty delight in Eve's smile growing tighter and tighter while Tegan was free to flirt and dance at her leisure. Perhaps Eve missed that lifestyle as well, because she was back in New York by morning. Annalise was sobbing on the phone to Tegan by the afternoon and passed out drunk on her couch that very evening. 

_Good riddance,_ was all Tegan had to say about it as she quietly cleaned up vodka bottles and junk food wrappers all around Annalise's home - although she was wise enough not to say it out loud. If this was Annalise's way of telling Tegan she was open to being with a woman, she was going to have to come up with a better way to do it.

* * *

It was that miserable combination of losing Eve and not riling Tegan that was coloring Annalise's mood by the night of the fundraiser. Events like Casino Night were the kind of non-mandatory events that partners and partners-to-be were expected to attend. With junior partner on the horizon, Annalise made sure to show up with money in hand and Robert on her arm. Michaela, brownnoser that she was, had practically designed the entire event from the ground up. Bonnie assisted in greeting guests and moving the lines along. Even Tegan way playing her part as one of the blackjack dealers.

Nate was receiving an award for his _"relentless pursuit of justice for his father's murder",_ according to the citation ("Dear God," a flu-stricken Frank commented privately), and the proceeds from the fundraiser were going to the newly founded Nate Lahey Senior Boxing Club. "Don't make me sit through this alone," he begged Bonnie, and so she became Nate's plus-one. Tegan, who had little desire to hear her name praised all night as Nate's lawyer, gave a short speech urging everyone to celebrate Nate Senior's life, then practically ran to hide behind the blackjack tables under the guise of "work". 

Since the last event Michaela arranged ended up in disaster, both she and Tegan remained on edge for hours. By around 9:00, Tegan could finally relax. Looking around, Tegan saw that Nate and Robert were playing Pick-a-Partner Poker, Bonnie was having fun at the karaoke bar, Michaela was soaking up well-deserved praise, and Annalise was chatting with some of the senior partners, the ones who would eventually vote on whether she would be promoted to a C&G junior partner. 

"Tegan!" Robert called when she passed by the poker table. [Rescue me!] he begged in Persian. [Annalise has abandoned me here and Nate is a terrible poker player.]

[Haven't you ever heard of Lady Luck?] Tegan took Robert's arm. [He's better at Bid Whist anyway.] It was funny how Nate, a man she'd once hated so much and was the ex-boyfriend of the woman she still craved, had become like a big brother to Tegan. Nate escorted Tegan to her salsa classes and media interviews, silently letting it be known to anyone watching that she was under his personal protection. Little by little, the two of them worked out their differences and bonded in their similarities - one of them being their mutual love for Annalise. Tegan never told Nate how she felt, but she got the impression that Nate knew. More importantly, he understood. And unlike Annalise, or even Emmett, Nate never teased Tegan or judged her. For that, Tegan was grateful. 

The senior version of the Keating Five - Nate, Robert, Bonnie, Tegan and Annalise - exchanged hugs and handshakes and congratulations all-around when Robert and Tegan joined them at their table. Everyone was having a good time except Annalise, who seemed to be tense about something. "Don't be nervous," Tegan encouraged her friend. "The partners are harmless enough. And your work stands for itself." Annalise continued to sip her Sprite, saying nothing. "You alright, Annalise?" Only a nod in response. Tegan took Annalise's hand. "You sure?" she pressed. In response, Annalise snatched her hand away. 

"Hey, Tegan. See that girl over there in the silver dress? She's checking you out." Nate subtly gestured with his straw. Tegan's head swiveled, and Nate caught her approving smile. "Told you," Nate teased. "Chocolate, thick thighs, pretty smile...just like you like 'em." 

"Like Annalise here." Robert kissed Annalise on the cheek. Behind his back, Nate and Bonnie snickered. They didn't dislike Robert or anything, but _damn_ , this man was oblivious.

"I didn't think you were into black women, Tegan." Annalise relished the look of shock on her face. "What? I'm just saying." Annalise shrugged. "That IT chick you were dating...Telesco...even your ex-wife wasn't black."

This was payback for cracking Annalise's face back at the Dominicano. Tegan refused to rise to the bait. "Do you really want to run the 23 and Me files on _your_ past lovers, Annalise?" 

"Uh, speaking of which. Tegan." Bonnie had no idea what was going on, of course, just that it wasn't going to be pretty. "If you got a thing for white girls, come get a drink with me before you go talking to your new lady friend." 

"We're all black when the lights go out." Tegan grinned at Bonnie. "C'mon, Winterbottom." 

"Claws out, huh?" Nate asked under his breath, highly amused as Annalise glared daggers at Tegan - and Bonnie, too, the little traitor, as they left. 

Annalise glanced over at Robert, who was giving her the strangest look. She took Robert by the hand. "Come and see the new stuff I did in my office." Nate's smirk dropped. He mumbled something about hitting up the blackjack tables as he shuffled off.

"That wasn't cool, Annalise," Robert commented as the two of them walked away. "Maybe it's not my place to say that as a man, but still...I didn't like it." 

"Didn't like what?" Annalise asked, making sure that Tegan and Bonnie got a look at her taking Robert to her office. Was that a flash of jealousy on Tegan's face as they walked by? God, she hoped so. Sure, Cora was Iranian and Kai was biracial, like Tegan herself. And the woman Tegan was angling for was as dark-skinned as she was. And Sam had been white, and so was Eve... _Damn, what was my point again?_

"...what you said back there. About Tegan dating white women." Robert's voice cut into her thoughts as they entered her newly remodeled office. "Her ex-wife is Persian like me." Robert put his hands on Annalise's hips and backed her up against the desk. "Being Iranian isn't white - ask your president." 

Before Robert could go on, Annalise cut him off with a kiss. The last thing she wanted to think about was Tegan or her ex-wife. "I'm sorry," she told him. Smiling, she wiped her lipstick off his mouth. "I'll apologize to her later." Annalise sat on top of her brand new oak desk and gestured around the office. "You like it?" she asked. Robert nodded, and Annalise pointed to the framed photo of the two of them sitting behind her desk. "Like that?" she asked. Robert beamed with pride, not knowing that Annalise had just bought the frame that afternoon and that it would go right back into her bottom drawer by Monday morning. 

"Good." Annalise sat back on her hands, strung a finger through a loop in Robert's pants, and playfully pulled him forward. "Look, I'm sorry if I offended you. And I _promise_ I'll apologize to Tegan later. For now, let's christen this office of mine the right way."

"Isn't there a saying about how people in glass offices shouldn't have sex at work?" 

"Nobody can see us with all the lobby lights out," Annalise explained. "And they're motion lights, so we'll know when someone is coming long before they get down here." Annalise shamelessly lifted her dress and spread her legs. "Eat me out," she ordered.

Robert stepped between Annalise's legs. "With pleasure, my chocolate, thick-thighed goddess," he answered, dropping to his knees. Annalise could have slapped him.

* * *

Annalise was much more relaxed when she and Robert finally returned to the fundraiser. By reflex, Annalise scanned the room, looking for the rest of her crew. Bonnie was still mingling, Nate was chatting it up with some people, and Tegan was missing. Now sitting at their table alone was Michaela. "What's wrong with you?" Annalise asked. Robert kissed Annalise on the cheek and went to find Bonnie. "Why are you sitting here by yourself? Don't you have any friends here?" 

Michaela glared at Annalise. Everybody knew that Michaela was Tegan's charity case, and a few people whispered that Tegan's interest in Michaela had more to do with her looks than her law. Michaela had proven herself to be an excellent young attorney - hard-working, whip-smart and a woman of integrity - but that didn't make friends. "Where's your mommy, Tegan?" Annalise pressed when Michaela didn't answer.

"Over there." Michaela gestured without looking up. Annalise followed her hand, then frowned. The brown-skinned beauty that had been flirting with Tegan earlier was now sitting close to Tegan, whispering in her ear. "She's practically sitting in Tegan's lap," Michaela grumbled. 

"Jealous?" Annalise didn't mean to be so nasty, especially to Michaela, but she was still annoyed with Tegan. And this public display of affection _was_ a little tacky.

Michaela stood and looked Annalise square in the eye. "Not nearly as jealous as you, Professor Keating," she fired back, and she walked away before Annalise could respond. 

Michaela was right, though. Annalise _was_ jealous. Not just because Tegan was talking to a woman - that was totally her right now that she was single again - but of the casual way the woman was talking with her lips by Tegan's ear, their hands laced together on the table. What was she saying that make Tegan smile and laugh in a way that Annalise had never seen before? 

_I think I'll go find out._

Coming closer, Annalise could see that the talk was definitely becoming more than friendly. Whatever Tegan was saying in this woman's ear was making her giggle. "Tegan." The pair paid Annalise no mind. _"Tegan!"_

Tegan finally looked up. "Annalise." Her voice was polite, but cool. She was still stinging from Annalise's earlier quip. "You need something?" 

"I need to talk to you." Tegan raised an eyebrow in response, as if to say _so what?_ "To apologize," Annalise clarified. "Can we go somewhere and talk?"

Tegan politely extracted herself from her new date's grip. "You humiliate me in public," she pointed out, "but you want to apologize in private?" 

Annalise gestured to the karaoke stage. "Would you rather me go up and join Bonnie on stage there?" A smile tugged at Tegan's lips. "You know I'll do it," Annalise cajoled. "Get up there and sing Tracy Chapman or Elton John or something. And you _know_ I can't sing for shit." She didn't realize how much she wanted Tegan's forgiveness. Or maybe she just liked that the smile on the other woman's face was starting to wane, just like Eve's did back at the Dominicano. 

"Shameka, could you give me a minute?" Tegan whispered in a scowling Shameka's ear, causing that giggle and nod again. "Thank you." Shameka stood up and glared at Annalise as she left the table. "What is it?" Tegan asked, her eyes still on Shameka as she walked away. 

"Can we talk in your office?" Annalise asked, but then another woman called Tegan's name - a pretty Latina this time. 

"Sure. You can wait in my office." There went that little smile of Tegan's again, the one that signaled that Annalise was the last thing on Tegan's mind. "I need to change into my dress. Hey," Tegan commented with a wink. "Maybe _she_ can help me." Tegan stood and walked away from her table - and from Annalise - without waiting a response. Annalise could have slapped her.

* * *

Tegan could have been forgiven for being petty and making Annalise wait while she flirted with her new Flavor of the Hour, but she was true to her word. The elevator opened just as Annalise was unlocking Tegan's door. It was one more sign of their supposed closeness, Annalise having a key to Tegan's office. "What do you want, Annalise?" Tegan called out, walking up to Annalise, who held the door open for them both. "Make it quick. I have business downstairs." 

_You mean booty,_ Annalise thought bitterly. Tegan had changed out of her red blackjack getup into a lovely off-shoulder blue gown, replacing her power bun with a flowing curtain of hair down her back. She was more beautiful than any of the women Tegan had cozied up to all night, and it caught Annalise off-guard.

"Look. What I said down there...about your ex-wife." Tegan's lips pursed as she sat behind her desk, leaving Annalise to sit on the other side with a good four feet of space between them. "I'm sorry. Not just because I'm your employee, but because you're my friend. I was out of line." 

"Yes. You were." A long silence dragged out. "I guess this is the part where you expect me to apologize for the way I treated your girlfriend last week," Tegan finally said.

"It would be nice," Annalise suggested. "But since you're not sorry, I don't see the point."

"Good. Then I won't have to lie." Tegan rolled her eyes. "Really, Annalise? Could you be more trifling? The Dominicano? That's our spot." Was there a bit of hurt in Tegan's voice? There was. 

"I didn't know we had a spot," Annalise said defensively. "It's not like you have a problem when Frank and Bonnie come, or even Robert. Or Kai or Lindsey or any of your other little freaks you're always bringing." 

"My _freaks?"_ Tegan could only remember two times she'd ever taken a date to the Domincano. "Annalise, what are you talking about?"

"You!" Something in Annalise was beginning to boil. "The brown-skinned one you invited up here or the Hispanic girl you were _just_ talking to! Ever since you were in Out Magazine, you keep dating girl after girl after girl-"

"What it to you, Annalise?" Tegan fired back. "I'm single! I can see all the women I want to!" 

"Yeah, and you can be at a work function with some skank nibbling on your earring, too. That's a good look for a managing partner, right?" 

Tegan crossed her arms, amused at Annalise's sudden aggravation. _"Now who's jealous?"_ she asked in a tone that was low, mocking - and quite familiar.

It took a moment for Annalise to recover from the taunt. "Look, you wanna run around being the last queen of Thotland, that's your business." Tegan laughed outright, aggravating Annalise even more. "But you're not gonna crawl up my ass just because I'm seeing Eve, okay?"

"You mean you _were_ seeing Eve," Tegan interrupted. "Didn't she go back to her wife?" 

"Watch it, Tegan," Annalise said tersely. 

"Or what?" Tegan mocked. "You're so full of shit, Annalise! You brought Eve to the Dominicano to get under my skin. You only come to watch me dance, anyway, so why would you bring Eve along?" 

"Why would bringing Eve to the Dominicano get under your skin, Tegan?" Annalise deflected. 

Tegan let out a heavy sigh. "Look, you want to hear me say it, Annalise? Fine. I'll say it." Tegan took a deep breath and rose from her desk. "I _like_ you, Annalise. For more than a friend. And you knew that when you brought Eve to the Domincano." Typical Tegan to make such a straight-out statement. "I always held out hope that maybe you would see me one day, but then you met Robert..."

Tegan's voice trailed when Annalise stayed quiet. What could she say, after all? That she wasn't attracted to women? Eve was proof otherwise. That she wasn't attracted to Tegan? That was a joke. That she liked Tegan, but _not in that way?_ Yes, Annalise thought, that would be the kindest thing. As soon as Tegan was finished, Annalise decided, she would be as straight as Tegan as Tegan was being with her. 

"...never tried to come between the two of you, Annalise," Tegan continued, possibly encouraged by Annalise's lack of response or just desperate to stop the silence. "I always respected your decision and I kept my distance-" 

"Wait a minute, Tegan." Annalise wasn't surprised that Tegan finally expressed the way she felt for her, but this outpouring of emotion was unexpected. "Didn't you just ask me the other day what color panties I had on?" 

"Excuse me? I _know_ you're not insinuating anything about me, Ms. _Wear-Blue-Tonight-'Cause-Daddy-Likes-Blue."_

Annalise smirked. "And I see you wore blue." 

Tegan looked down at her fabulous blue dress, as did Annalise, and her face turned bright red. Had she thought of Annalise when she picked her dress? Well, there were two others in her car. "Girl, where are you going?" Annalise asked as Tegan spun on her heel to leave. "This is _your_ office." 

"To change my dress!" Tegan yelled over her shoulder.

"For what?" Annalise called to her back. "You look amazing." 

Tegan froze, but didn't turn around. "Tegan." Annalise's voice was so tender, softer than Tegan had ever heard it before. "Come back here." Dreamlike, Tegan walked back into her office, where Annalise was waiting for her. "Come _here_ ," Annalise repeated. Tegan got just close enough for Annalise to reach out and gently tug Tegan in her direction. "So...what color are _your_ panties?" she teased, gathering Tegan's dress at the waist and pulling it upward slowly. "Are they blue like your dress?"

"Stop," Tegan playfully swatted Annalise's hand away. Annalise let go of the dress, but she didn't let go of Tegan. Instead, she drew Tegan as close to her as she could. Tegan laid her head on Annalise's shoulder, burying her face in the crook of Annalise's neck. It was the closest they'd ever been before. "I miss you," Tegan said, and the way her lips brushed across Annalise's desk made her dizzy. 

"I miss you, too." For a while, the women just held each other, enjoying the silence and the warmth of their bodies pressed against each other. "When was the last time you had a hot oil treatment?" Tegan finally asked she stroked the back of Annalise's neck. 

"When was the last time you were at my house?" Annalise wrapped her arms around Tegan's waist. "Ever since you became Philadelphia's favorite lesbian, I don't get to see you anymore."

"Don't start." Tegan grew rigid in Annalise's arms. "You don't have a say in who I'm seeing unless you're the woman I'm seeing." She looked up. "Annalise," she said softly. "How long are we going to keep pretending that we're just friends?"

This was another golden opportunity for the _I-like-you-but-not-like-that_ speech that Annalise had been meaning to give for a long time. And yet the words - the _lie_ \- couldn't come from Annalise's mouth. Not with the chicken pox scar over Tegan's right eyebrow so close to her own lips that Annalise, driven crazy by the scent of Tegan's hair and the softness of her skin, turned her head and kissed the small mark. When Tegan didn't slap her senseless, Annalise lifted Tegan's chin and kissed her adorable freckled nose. They stood forehead to forehead, just smiling at each other in the moonlight. Finally, when Tegan grew tired of waiting, she took Annalise's face into her hands and brought her lips to hers.

Such a soft, sweet kiss shouldn't have left Annalise speechless, but there she was. "I had to do that," Tegan confessed. "At least once." Her face grew serious as she looked around the office, as if she just remembered that she was Annalise's boss and none of this was a good idea. "I'm sorry, Annalise," she apologized, struck by the look on Annalise's face - anger? Disgust? Confusion? "I shouldn't have-" 

Annalise cut Tegan off with a kiss of her own. It wasn't the chaste, innocent little peck she'd just received from Tegan, but a hot, hard meeting-of-the-mouths that Tegan must have been dreaming of for months. "Don't be," Annalise whispered, for she wasn't sorry. She wasn't angry or confused or disgusted. Annalise was _ready_. And she wanted more. 

* * *

"I don't remember you in a blue dress," Bonnie said when Tegan stopped talking. "Did you change out of it?" 

Tegan nodded. "When Annalise left my office, I changed back into the red outfit before I came back to the party."

"You didn't come back to the party with Annalise, did you?" Bonnie asked. "The next time I saw Annalise, she was with Robert." 

"No. I came back with Shameka." 

"I see." Now the picture was becoming clearer to Bonnie. "Is that why Annalise threw a drink in your face? Because you came back to the party with another woman?" 

"Why would it be about that?" Tegan tried to look innocent, but her embarrassed grin and reddening cheeks gave her away. "Look, Annalise spent half the night fucking Robert in her office. Why would she care who I was at the party with?" 

"Because she's Annalise," Bonnie answered. "You know how she is." 

"Yeah. I do. God, I'm _so_ fucked." Tegan checked the clock on the wall. She still had a couple of hours to kill. "You still up for that drink, Winterbottom? We could go to that restaurant you mentioned earlier." Bonnie nodded and stood. "Maybe with some food in our bellies, you can help me unfuck this situation."

TBC


	3. All the Single Ladies

When Tegan was 12, as she explained to Annalise one Sunday, she tumbled over the handlebars of her older brother's bicycle and suffered a nasty cut on her right leg. While her family rushed her to the hospital to have it stitched up, Daniel - who had been knocked unconscious by the force of the fall - was the top priority that day. The delayed treatment and subsequent infection resulted a scar that marred the smooth skin on the inside of Tegan's right thigh. 

Even in shorts, that scar was virtually unnoticeable, as it was high up and inside of Tegan's thigh. But from Annalise's viewpoint that day - eye level with her head resting on Tegan's left leg as Tegan's gifted fingers flew through Annalise's thick, curly hair - the cut was visible enough to merit questions. After all, the inside of one's thigh was not a common place for any kind of cuts or bruises. "I bet you weren't even supposed to be on those handlebars," Annalise laughed after Tegan finished her story.

Indeed, Tegan's parents had warned her over and over that she could fall from the top of Daniel's bike one day. "Aww, you wanna kiss it and make it go away?" Tegan teased, just one of the many flirty comments that had been exchanged between them over time. Annalise didn't answer, and Tegan thought nothing of it. But over time, Annalise always seemed to find a way to that scar, absentmindedly tracing it with her nails or her fingertips while resting her head on Tegan's opposite leg for one beauty ritual or another. And one day, out of nowhere, Annalise turned her head inward and pressed her lips against the the jagged, misshapen skin that Tegan hated so much.

They never spoke about it. But they both dreamed about it. That Sunday night, up in Tegan's office, that scar was what Annalise was searching for when her hands slipped down to the front of Tegan's dress, feeling around to see if there was a slit there. Ever since it happened the first time, all Annalise wanted was to feel the warmth of Tegan's firm, supple thigh against her lips all over again. Tegan had other ideas, and she knocked Annalise's hand away. "Here?" she chastised, her voice hard. "In my _office_ , Annalise? Really?" 

Now it was Annalise who was looking around, wide-eyed and heart pounding. This wasn't even her office. And Tegan wasn't Robert. She wasn't going to just settle for a friendly fuck in her own building. "I'm sorry," she stammered. "I'm _so_ sorry, Tegan. I didn't mean to imply...you know." Annalise didn't mean to imply that Tegan was the kind of lawyer who would take oral sex in her office, like she was. 

To her relief, Tegan just laughed. "Don't let it happen again," she chided Annalise. "A managing partner can't be found all ass out in her office, you know." 

"Too bad." Annalise pulled Tegan back to her, cupping her ass and squeezing brazenly. "I wouldn't mind seeing that." 

It was crazy how _natural_ all of this felt. Being with Eve left Annalise feel confused. Being with Nate left Annalise feeling guilty. Being with Robert made her feel nothing. But here, with Tegan in her arms - and even with her boyfriend and her lover downstairs - Annalise felt so loved, so safe, so...normal. There was no guilt over married lovers or cancerous wives or unknown sons. Just Tegan, single and free and kissing Annalise, wanting nobody else. She wanted _more_. 

But Tegan wasn't giving. 

Rather, Tegan broke their kiss and walked away from Annalise, stopping at a large window that overlooked the city below. Still, when Annalise came from behind and wrapped her arms around Tegan's waist, Tegan didn't stop her. "You're trembling," Annalise observed, placing a kiss behind Tegan's ear and enjoying the shiver that Tegan was unable to control. _"Annalise,"_ Tegan whispered, tilting her head for easier access. Giddy with lust, Annalise peppered Tegan's collarbone with kisses, and even dared to lightly bite her neck. "Annalise," Tegan gasped. "You're gonna give me a hickey!"

"You want me to kiss it and make it better?" Annalise teased, then did so without asking. Tegan pulled Annalise's arms tighter around her body, reaching over her shoulder for another kiss, which Annalise gladly obliged until they both grew tired. And then, with Annalise's chin resting on Tegan's shoulder and her arms around Tegan's body, Tegan dropped the bomb. "Be with me, Annalise." She took Annalise's hand and squeezed it. "You have to admit that we feel good together like this." 

Annalise chuckled dryly. It was so easy for Tegan. _Be with me._ Annalise and Tegan liked each other, so the next logical step was for the women to date. Tegan would treat Annalise like a queen, of course. And Annalise would suck all the goodness out of Tegan and leave her a shell of her former self. "I...I can't, Tegan." Out of all the horrible things Annalise had done in her life, the one thing she couldn't bring herself to do was take the light out of Tegan's eyes. 

"I know." Tegan didn't sound angry or hurt, just sad. Still gripping Annalise's hand, she brought it to her lips and kissed it. "Is it...is it me?"

"Tegan, I don't even deserve your _friendship_ , much less your love." Even now, Annalise had no idea what Tegan was getting out of their relationship. Certainly it wasn't Annalise's loving personality or giving spirit that kept Tegan near. "I don't deserve you," she repeated.

"You probably don't." The way Tegan smiled over her shoulder at Annalise nearly broke her heart. "But I deserve you."

Now _there_ was a sobering thought. "There's nothing on earth you've done so horrible that you deserve me, Tegan," Annalise said sadly. With that, she let Tegan go, backing away slowly until her back touched Tegan's desk, causing her to nearly fall.

"So what happens now?" Tegan asked, her back still turned to Annalise. She was trying to keep the tremor from her voice, determined not to show her devastation. "We go back to being good friends? Hair braiding and movie watching and whatnot?" 

"You get to be your fabulous gay self," Annalise tried to keep her voice light. "I go back downstairs and pretend that I'm happy and stable with my cheating boyfriend."

"Which one?" Tegan asked sarcastically.

Annalise shrugged. "Pick one."

"Keep yourself up on that cross if you want to, but you don't have to be miserable." Tegan walked over to her desk, pulling out her clutch. "I could make you happy, Annalise, if you would just let me..."

"I know you could, Tegan," Annalise assured. "You would be an _amazing_ girlfriend. But I need your friendship more than I need your love."

Tegan snatched some concealer out of her purse. "And that's supposed to be my guiding star - what you need?" She dabbed at the ever-darkening bruise on her neck. "You couldn't have told me that before you put a damn hickey on my neck, you selfish cunt?"

Annalise was thunderstruck. "Did you just call me-"

"A cunt." Tegan whirled around. "A selfish, self-centered _bitch_ who only cares about how I make you feel. Like I'm your comfort object to cuddle and kiss until you're ready to put me away." Tegan swiped at her neck so hard with her makeup that it seemed like she was slapping herself for being so foolish. "I wanted you to see me, Annalise, but I see that all you want is for me to make you feel better about yourself. You don't give a damn about how I feel." Tegan threw her makeup back into her desk drawer and pulled out some hair pins. "Go find somebody else to oil your buckshots." 

The second that quip came out of her mouth, Tegan bit her lip. She knew how sensitive Annalise was about her hair, even though Tegan loved how thick and soft it was. " _Now_ who's being a cunt?" Annalise asked. "You say something like that to me just because I don't want to have sex with you?" 

"Who said anything about having sex with you?" Tegan's hands flew down her hair until they formed a thick braid, then she twisted it into a bun around her head and pinned it into place. The hairstyle was fine, but didn't match her the classy, feminine sophistication of her dress at all. "Did it ever occur to you that I want to be with just one woman? Why does everybody think I'm some gigalo who's got hoes in different area codes?" 

"Because you've been flirting with two different women tonight?" Annalise pointed out. "I know I'm not the only woman you invited up here to see you. And I know this isn't the first time, either. How many girls have been up here giving you hickeys, anyway?" 

"Not _this_ shit again!" Tegan pushed past Annalise and around the corner, back to the front section of her office that was visible from the hall. "Annalise, what did I tell you about getting involved with my love life?" Just then, Tegan's cell phone rang. "Tegan?" Michaela's voice was in the other end. "Shameka Washington is asking if she can be buzzed up." 

Tegan looked over at Annalise. "Don't even think about it," she warned, but Tegan disregarded her. "Michaela? Tell Shameka-"

Annalise snatched Tegan's phone out of her hand and ended the call. "Are you crazy!?" Tegan screamed, snatching her phone back. "Don't you ever-" 

"Tegan, I'm sorry that I hurt you. And I never meant to lead you on, I swear I didn't." That was enough to make Tegan stand still. "You don't know what you mean to me, and that's my fault because I never said it. So please. Listen to me now." 

Tegan rolled her eyes and folded her arms. "If you say I'm your rock..." 

"You're more than just my rock, Tegan!" Annalise grabbed Tegan's hands and pulled them close, right over her heart. "You're my port of harbor. You're my role model. Hell, I want to be like you when I grow up." Tegan smiled faintly, and Annalise was so grateful for it. _Please, Tegan, please don't be mad at me._ "You are brilliant, and you're loving and generous and you're so, so beautiful. Not just on the outside, but on the inside, too. And I feel so safe with you, so happy -" 

"Then _be with me!"_ Tegan gripped Annalise's shoulders so hard that Annalise winced at the nails digging into her skin. "Why won't you let me love you, Annalise?" Tegan's voice trembled. "Tell me it's because I'm your boss or because I'm too short or you hate my hair. Tell me it's because I'm a Cancer or my breath stinks - _but tell me something!_ My God, Annalise, you owe me that!"

"I don't know!" Annalise squeezed her eyes shut, and her hands hovered around her ears. "This is too much, Tegan. Too soon! How long have you felt like this about me, anyway? And now you tell me, just today!" 

"Oh, please," Tegan scoffed. "You knew how I felt about you way before now." 

"Yeah, sure I knew. Especially when you because the hottest dyke in the whole damn city and had girls throwing themselves at you every time I looked up! I don't want you with those other girls! I want -" Annalise stopped. She'd said too much.

"You want what, Annalise?" Tegan looked so damned hopeful, as if Annalise had come to her senses all of a sudden. She hadn't, of course, and the silence dragged on and on. "You don't want to be with me...you don't want me to be with anybody else... _what do you want, Annalise?"_

"I...I don't know." Tears flowed freely down Annalise's face, but they did nothing to curb Tegan's aggravation - or her pain, for that matter. "Just leave me alone." Tegan opened her office door and left, forcing Annalise to chase behind her to the elevator door like Tegan had to do on a regular basis. "Because all this flirting and closeness and now this...I can't take it any more, Annalise." Tegan was practically pleading now as they stood in front of the elevator. "If you can't love me, Annalise, please...just let me go." 

"I...I can't." Tegan's eyes grew wide, and her jaw clenched, fighting to hold back every curse word imaginable. "Tegan, please! I don't know how I feel about you, but I know that I need you and I still want you in my life...and I know that makes me selfish and I'm sorry." Annalise grabbed Tegan's hands. "I need to figure this all out in my head...just wait for me, Tegan. I don't want to lose you. _Please_ , wait for me." 

"Annalise..." Stunned, Tegan shook her head and stepped back. _"All I've ever done is wait for you."_

The elevator door dinged just then, startling them both, and then Michaela walked through the door with Shameka in tow. "Tegan? Your call cut off, and-"

It was more than Annalise could stand. _"We're **busy!!!"**_ she screamed at the women on the elevator.

"No." Tegan denied firmly. "We're finished." She smiled at Shameka. "Michaela, you can go now. And thank you." 

Michaela looked from Tegan, calm and collected, to a wide-eyed, trembling Annalise. She nodded and left, leaving Shameka, Annalise and Tegan to themselves. "Your dress is beautiful, Tegan," Shameka commented, ignoring Annalise completely. "I love that color on you."

Tegan looked down and shrugged. "I was about to go change it, actually." She gave Shameka that same look she was giving when they were downstairs together. "You wanna come help me out?" 

Shameka raised her eyebrows. _"Definitely."_ It was the ultimate slap in the face to Annalise, especially when Tegan turned to Annalise and pretended to look surprised to see her there. "Is there still something you needed, Annalise?" 

Annalise looked over at Shameka, ready for Annalise to leave so that she and Tegan could go God-only-knew-where to do God-only-knew-what. Suddenly, Annalise wondered what kind of lover Tegan was. Was she the kind to take backshots in her office, like Annalise had just done to Robert not even 15 minutes ago? Would she take Shameka up to the top conference floor, where only senior brass like Tegan had access to? Or would they get down and dirty in the Caplan and Gold parking lot? "Tegan..." Annalise tried again.

"Annalise," Tegan mimicked. Just minutes ago, she was crying her eyes out. Now Tegan had the nerve to be nonchalant? She rolled her eyes at Shameka as if to say _this bitch_. "We're not done, Tegan," Annalise informed her boss, then stepped into the elevator.

"We are." Tegan held the elevator door open, barring Annalise from leaving. "I respect your decision," she said, her voice devoid of emotion. "And I'm sorry if I've done anything to make you uncomfortable. But I'm not going to sit around praying that you'll see me one day. I'm Tegan Price, not Eve Rothlo." There wasn't a trace of the weeping woman who Annalise had held in her arms just moments ago. "Like I said, Annalise. Either be with me or _let me go._ " 

It was up to Annalise now. All she had to do was step out of the elevator. Tegan would dismiss Shameka without a second thought - of that, Annalise was certain. But Annalise wanted Tegan to be with someone who made her happy, while Tegan wanted to be with Annalise. Those two things didn't go together. So Annalise let her silence speak for her. 

"You choose Robert," Tegan said, her voice barely audible. Numb, Annalise nodded. She couldn't even look Tegan in the eye. _"Why?"_ Annalise could hear Tegan's voice crack - just barely - even if Shameka couldn't. "Just tell me why..."

Shameka - who apparently was unable to read a room - chose that moment to speak up. "Tegan?" she piped up, hot and horny. "You ready?"

"Hey!" Annalise was fighting back tears herself. "Do you _not_ see grown folks talking? Go do some homework or something." 

"Annalise." Tegan's voice was stern and low. "That's not necessary."

"She needs to stay in a child's place," Annalise commented, not even blessing Shameka with a side glance, even though Shameka was just three years younger than Tegan. That highlighted Annalise and Tegan's 15-year age difference in her mind. _Just another reason I have no business with this little girl..._

"Oh, it's okay," Shameka answered back. "They say a lack of sleep makes older women grumpy. So let's get out of here, Tegan..." Shameka gestured towards Annalise. "...unless Grandma Moses is going to hold the camera or something."

Annalise whirled around to face Tegan, who had the nerve to be supressing a smile. _**"Control your bitch, Tegan!!!"**_

 _"Bitch!?"_ Shameka stepped up to Annalise, who stepped out of the elevator and moved so close to Shameka that she stumbled back. "Try it," Annalise goaded, her jaws and her fists both clenched. "By the time Tegan pulls out her phone, I'll have broken every bone in your face."

The fear in Shameka's eyes felt as good as anything Robert had done to Annalise earlier that evening. Shameka glanced over at Tegan, who obviously had no intention of doing anything at all. With that in mind, Shameka made a wise life decision. "Tegan, you gonna let Jane Pittman talk to me like this?!" she whined.

"We're leaving." Tegan stepped forward. Looping her arm into Shameka's, she guided the frightened younger woman to the elevator. "If you ever threaten anybody in this building again," she warned Annalise, "I'll call security and have you thrown out my damn self. And one more thing." Tegan stepped out the elevator and gave Annalise one final command, just quietly enough for only the two of them to hear: _"Don't ever come to my office again smelling like him."_

She was barely five feet tall, but the way Tegan spoke to Annalise made her feel two inches high. Humiliated and heartbroken, Annalise stepped back from the elevator door, which was barely visible through her tears, and fled to her office. There, she sank to the floor and cried herself sick, knowing she deserved everything she was feeling right now. Annalise had chosen Robert. And deep in the pit of her stomach, she knew she'd chosen wrong.

* * *

Bonnie was ashamed to admit it, but she only vaguely remembered seeing Michaela and Shameka on the elevator, no doubt going up to find Tegan. She was too busy feeling like a real lawyer again. Over the weeks, Tegan had made sure to bring up how invaluable Bonnie's testimony had been at the Nate Senior trial. She spent the night soaking up compliments about her law acumen and her karaoke singing. Bonnie hadn't sang aloud in years and years. It felt wonderful. 

She hadn't seen Annalise very much, either. It seemed like every ten minutes, Annalise and Robert were disappearing. Even Nate commented on it, though it didn't seem to bother him much - or if it did, he didn't say anything about it. Tegan, now back in her Casino Night getup, came down later, introduced her date - a C&G accountant named Shameka, who was moving to Chicago in a few days - and everybody went their respective way. Not until Michaela rushed to her side that Bonnie realized that anything was wrong at all."Can you talk to Annalise, please?" Michaela begged. "She's drinking, and she won't talk to me. But something's wrong. I know it is..."

Annalise was half slumped against the bar, arguing with the poor bartender that he was watering the drinks - which he was, thanks to the $100 Robert had slipped him earlier. That made Bonnie's blood boil. Why wasn't he _with_ Annalise, stopping her? Had he found a cute little accountant of his own? "Annalise! What are you doing? Out in public?" Annalise wasn't in trouble with the bar anymore, and she'd kept her alcoholism under wraps at Caplan and Gold. Was she about to expose her secret now, in front of some of the most important people at C&G?

Annalise looked up at Bonnie, her eyes filled with tears. "Take me home, Bonnie." She sounded so broken then, so utterly _broken_. Bonnie would never forget that. "Please...I just..." Tears slid down Annalise's face, and she hurried to wipe them away. "I want to go home."

"Are you okay, Annalise?" Bonnie turned to Michaela and Robert. "What happened? Is she hurt?" Michaela, thinking of the scene upstairs, just shrugged her shoulders. Even having witnessed what she did, she truly didn't know what was going on. Neither did Robert, who'd only shown up to see Annalise drinking at the bar. He'd tried to stop her, but after she'd dragged him to the office for some _killer_ head, Robert opted to pay the bartender to water the drinks down instead.

Meanwhile, Annalise was whimpering again. "Okay, okay...we can go home," Bonnie soothed. "Don't worry, Annalise. We're leaving." Whatever happened, Bonnie was going to have to find out about it later. "Robert, I'm going to let Tegan know we're leaving. Can you get Annalise's-"

"No!" Robert reached for Annalise, only to be violently shoved away. "Get off me!" she ordered loudly. " _Leave me alone!_ I don't even like you all that much - can't you see that?" People were starting to look in their direction. Bonnie needed to get Annalise out of there, _fast_. Annalise stood up as straight as she could. "Look, Robert. You're a helluva lay, God knows, but-"

"-but you were just using me." Robert finished. Annalise didn't deny it, and Bonnie had nothing to say in Annalise's defense. "That's okay. You were a good fuck, too." He smirked. "Thanks for the nuts." He added something in Persian. Bonnie didn't understand it, of course, but she didn't like his tone. Neither did Nate, who had shown up out of nowhere. "Walk away," he ordered. "And I don't ever want to see your face again." Robert knew better than to argue. 

"Yeah. Go back to your ex-wife - no, wait. Your wife." Annalise's words were starting to slur. "The one you forgot to tell me you were still in the process of _divorcing!_ " she called to Robert's back, drawing even more eyes their way.

 _Damn you, Annalise!_ Maybe Bonnie wasn't up for junior partner - hell, she would probably never be up for junior partner at Caplan and Gold - but she had her own reputation to think of here. She wasn't the only one who needed to look good in front of the senior partners. But one look at Annalise, and Bonnie knew she'd never make it to the door on her own. "Help me, Nate," Bonnie begged. "Please...if anybody sees Annalise like this..."

"I'll go get the car." Nate left quickly, leaving Bonnie to deal with Annalise. "Excuse me, excuse me. Sick lady coming through," she lied, half-dragging Annalise through the crowd. "Food poisoning...yes, she's okay..." She didn't know if anybody believed her, but Bonnie was grateful for the well-wishes coming from the partygoers. Whatever was bothering Annalise, Bonnie could worry about it later. For now, the most important thing was getting Annalise away from the fundraiser before anyone realized what was really going...

And then their luck ran out. Just as Bonnie and Annalise made it to the front foyer, Tegan walked around the corner, hand-in-hand with a woman. "Annalise?" It wasn't even the dark-skinned beauty from earlier that night, but a gorgeous, long-legged redhead. "You leaving already?" Tegan cocked her head and smiled, and for some reason Bonnie noticed that Tegan's hair was not styled the same way it had been earlier that night. Similar, but not totally. And that smile...a sardonic, smart-assed little grin that lacked Tegan's trademark cheerfulness. There was a back story here.

That's when a waiter happened to walk past the women with a tray full of drinks, and everything happened all at once. Annalise grabbed a cranberry vodka from the tray, threw it in Tegan's face, and smashed the glass at Tegan's feet. Somebody screamed ( _probably Michaela,_ Bonnie thought bitterly). Tegan jumped back, and just like that, Annalise's shot at junior partner was finished.

If Tegan had reacted angrily, maybe things could've gone better. Instead, Tegan did the worst thing possible. She turned her back to Annalise and Bonnie and said something that neither of them caught over all the confusion. Whatever Tegan said brought a roar of laughter from the crowd, loud and cruel and directed at Annalise. And when Tegan faced Annalise in her ruined shirt and vodka-drenched hair, she was actually _smirking_ , totally above it all. 

Annalise lurched forward. Somehow Bonnie managed to stop her. "You are very drunk right now," she hissed in Annalise's ear, "and you're about to do something very, _very_ stupid. Walk away, for God's sake, while you still have a law license."

Finally, Annalise turned to leave, but not before tearfully choking out the words _"I hate you"_ just loud enough for Tegan, Bonnie, and Tegan's new piece of ass to hear. Thank alcoholic Jesus that Annalise didn't see Tegan roll her eyes as the redhead escorted her back to the party. No telling what Annalise would've done just then.

* * *

"What did you say," Bonnie asked Tegan over lunch and drinks, "that made everybody start laughing at Annalise?"

"I honestly don't remember. Something corny. _'Drinks on me'_ or something like that." It might have sounded unbelievable, but the only thing Tegan remembered was the hatred in Annalise's tear-filled eyes after being hit in the face with cranberry vodka. She didn't even remember anything else that happened after that, not even how she left the party and went home - alone, of course, without even bothering to get the redhead's name or number. "When you're the managing partner, people laugh at your bad jokes."

"You made Annalise look like a fool, you know." Bonnie's voice bordered on accusatory.

"Me?" Tegan checked her watch. 45 more minutes until this damned disciplinary hearing. "I'm _sorry_ \- did Annalise throwing a drink at me fuck up _her_ night? What the hell did I do, other than make a damn fool out of myself over Annalise?" 

"You fucked another woman the minute she turned you down," Bonnie reminded Tegan. They were crossing into dangerous territory, but hell, Tegan asked for it. "Or maybe it was two women - no, wait. It was three. Three women all in one night. Classy." 

Rather than firing Bonnie on the spot, Tegan picked up her glass of gin. It was empty, save for the melting ice. "Bonnie, if I tell you something...promise you won't tell Annalise?" Bonnie nodded, and Tegan went on. "I...I didn't have sex with Shameka." Tegan's face turned bright red. "We went down to my car so I could get my clothes, and then we went back up to my office. I told her to wait for me in the lobby while I changed my clothes and then...then I finished myself off after she left."

"You're kidding me, Tegan. _Please_ say you're kidding." Tegan shook her head and stared down at her drink. "My God, Tegan, for all of this, you should've gotten some!"

"You're telling me." Tegan had to laugh at the absurdity of it all. "We were mostly just talking all night, to be honest.I guess making a fool out of myself to Annalise killed my mood."

"Didn't kill it that bad," Bonnie teased. "You were with another girl by the end of the night."

"Oh, we didn't do anything, either. I went home by myself." Tegan checked her watch. "And I still don't know what I did I do to deserve having a drink thrown in my face." 

Between the missing information Tegan had told Bonnie over lunch and the events she'd witnessed herself, Bonnie couldn't believe that Tegan hadn't figured it out. "Did you really graduate high school when you were 16?" she asked, more out of curiosity than anything. 

"Yeah. I did." Tegan desperately wanted more gin, but wisely ordered a glass of Sprite instead. Even though she knew Bonnie wouldn't let her get drunk, Tegan had to remain clear-headed, no matter how miserable she felt. "Why?" 

"Finished college at Stanford when you were 19... _summa cum laude_. I know that much," Bonnie continued. "And passed the California bar when you were just 22, right?" 

"Right," Tegan confirmed. "But...no offense, Winterbottom, but what does my academic resume have to do with anything?"

"Nothing, really," Bonnie answered. "It's just that you're arguably a walking genius. I guess I can't understand why a woman as smart as you can be so slow on the uptake."

"Excuse me?" The managing partner was creeping back into Tegan's voice. "What did you say?" 

"You _really_ don't understand what's happening?" Bonnie sat back, trying not to laugh when Tegan shook her head, utterly bewildered. All this time Bonnie thought that Annalise was on her way back to being ruined, maybe forever. But she wasn't. This incident that happened last night wasn't a sign of things to come. It was a one-time thing. Annalise could be saved. With Bonnie's help, she could be saved. She just had to make Tegan understand. "Tegan..." Bonnie said gently, taking Tegan's hands into hers. "Annalise is in love with you."

TBC


	4. The Bastard Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Four chapters in and not a title in sight. *sigh* Anyway...

The words hit Tegan like a blow to the chest. She looked to see if Bonnie was teasing her. She wasn't. "You can't be right," Tegan stammered. "Annalise _hates_ me."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because she said _'I hate you'._ " Tegan recalled, ignoring the tightness in her chest from remembering those horrible words.

"She's just lashing out. You know that." Bonnie rubbed her temples. "I already have to deal with one drama queen, Tegan. Don't make me have to deal with two."

"Fine. I won't," Tegan decided. "You're fired, Winterbottom."

"Eat my ass, Tegan." Bonnie sipped her drink, ignoring her supervisor's angry glare. Soon, a smile spread across Tegan's lips, and then they were both laughing and arguing over who was going to pick up the check and who was going to leave the tip.

Walking back to Caplan and Gold - slowly, as Tegan needed time to clear her head - Bonnie filled in many gaps and holes with information that she trusted Tegan to know. Tegan knew much more than Bonnie knew she did - such as the Keating Five and the true cause of Sam's death - but there were other things that she didn't consider, such as the parasitic nature of Annalise's relationships. "Try not to be too hard on Annalise," Bonnie encouraged. "It's our fault that she's so guarded. We took from her and took from her and took from her - Frank, Nate, the kids, me. Do you know the last person who loved Annalise without wanting anything back from her?"

"Eve," Tegan said dully. Always, full circle back to Eve. "If Eve is so great for Annalise, why did she go back to New York without her?"

"Are you kidding me, Tegan?" Bonnie laughed. "Eve didn't come down here just for Annalise. She came down here to check out the wonderful boss at the wonderful job that Annalise couldn't stop gushing about." Bonnie bumped Tegan playfully with her hip. "And there you were...beautiful and brilliant and absolutely unwilling to play any games. You made Annalise look like a fool. Just like you made Annalise look like a fool last night."

"I made her look a fool!?" Tegan asked. "How? By putting those drinks in her hand? Or throwing them in my face in front of everybody?"

"No. By being your exquisite, sensual, queer black self - and rubbing her nose in it all night long." Tegan's eyes fixed on a stop light as Bonnie went on. "Annalise was wrong, I know. The way she's handled how she feels about you has been terrible, just like it was with Eve all those years ago. But you were _mean_ , Tegan." Bonnie gave Tegan a knowing look. "You _wanted_ Annalise to feel bad last night. You wanted her to see you being free. You _deserved_ that drink thrown in your face, Tegan. Maybe not in public, but you definitely earned it."

"Annalise _chose_ Robert!" Tegan countered angrily. "Did she tell you that, Bonnie? I finally took off my mask and she threw it back in my face when she threw that goddamned drink! It's not my job to make Annalise feel better about her bad life choices! She made her bed - she can go fuck in it." Tegan tried to sound tough, but she was on the verge of crying again. "Annalise still doesn't trust me, does she?" Bonnie shook her head _no_. "You make it sound like I'd have a better chance with Annalise if I killed somebody!"

"If you kill somebody, Annalise would be at your door with an alibi and a shovel before you hung up the phone. But if all you're looking for is a little Netflix and chill...I don't think she could ever give you that. All she knows is how to fix people. Annalise needs people to _need_ her. You don't even need Annalise at Caplan and Gold, much less in your personal life."

That was true enough. Yes, Annalise was a brilliant, capable attorney. But at C&G, that made her just one of many. Many people whispered behind her back that Annalise's Supreme Court victory had gone to her head. "Every time Annalise is on the verge of falling apart, you're the one who brings her back to center. Even Frank and I can't do that. And the way she looks at you, smiles at you...it's different." Bonnie opened the door to C&G, letting Tegan ahead of her. "She's in love with you, Tegan. I don't even think she realizes it because she doesn't recognize it. But I do. Without you in her life, I'm not sure Annalise could go on for much longer."

That got Tegan thinking. She thought about the petty ticky-tack complaints made against Annalise for this comment to that client or some mistake that any other lawyer would've gotten a pass on. She thought about the Sundays they spent together, and how Annalise never really said much (not compared to Tegan, anyway), but seemed to genuinely enjoy her company. She thought about the valuable advice Annalise had given her as a black woman moving through corporate law. She thought about the pride on Annalise's face and in her voice when Tegan won an award or did an interview. And even the little things, like the way Annalise saved all the yellow Starbursts when she ate the candy. No, Tegan didn't need Annalise Keating in her life, personally or professionally, but she wouldn't want to be without her, either. And she certainly wouldn't want to be at Caplan and Gold without Annalise.

Bonnie and Tegan hadn't even made it to Tegan's office when Michaela rushed up to them. "Tegan, Annalise is in your back office," Michaela babbled. "I tried to stop her but she pushed right past me-"

"It's okay." Tegan placed her hand on Michaela's shoulder and smiled. "Thanks for protecting me from an Annalise ambush. Back to work, okay?"

"I guess she has to try one more time," Bonnie clapped Tegan on the back. "Good luck with _that_. The senior partners running the disciplinary board asked me to submit a written statement based on what I witnessed last night. Don't worry, I don't plan to say much." Bonnie gave Tegan's hand a gentle squeeze. "Please...yell at Annalise later. But don't ruin her today. Okay?"

Tegan gave no promises as she rounded the corner to her back office. Annalise sat waiting patiently, as if she was a child waiting to be scolded by the principal. "Shouldn't you be somewhere preparing your defense for the disciplinary hearing, Ms. Keating?" Tegan checked her watch. "You've got...oh, 13 minutes before-"

"Tegan." Annalise cut Tegan off in that way that made Tegan's tongue grow still and her heart beat fast. "What I said this morning..." Annalise sounded nothing like herself. Stiff, stilted, eyes downcast... _She just wants help with her defense today_ , Tegan thought. _Don't fall for it._ "I know that you would never conduct business that way. I was way out of line, and I'm sorry."

Against her better judgment, Tegan pulled out her tablet, sat behind her desk and began typing. "Listen, Annalise. I've been in dozens of these meetings before - some I've voted on, some I haven't. But they're all the same. When you go in there, say as little as possible. Throw yourself at the mercy of the Board. If you're lucky, they'll agree to 30 days' unpaid suspension and mandatory alcohol and drug counseling. That's what I'm recommending."

Annalise was excepting a reprimand at most or an outright termination, which she was prepared for. Suspension never crossed her mind. "Don't look at me like that, Annalise. I have to give them _something_. If I go too easy on you, they won't take my decisions seriously. Pierce Jensen's been waiting for something like this ever since you made him take the wrap for Emmett. He'll rename this place Tegan Price's Big-Ass Law Firm if I press charges against you-"

"For throwing a _drink_?!"

"Yes, and the glass that it was in." The more Tegan thought about it, the more annoyed she got. "Do you think any of the clients you bring in make or break this company? They don't. You are just one lawyer here, Annalise. _One_. So show a little respect for once. For my bosses, for this procedure - for me, damn it! I'm the only one who even wants you here at this point-"

 _"Then fire me, Tegan!"_ Annalise didn't care who heard her now. She didn't care who knew about this goddamned hearing anymore. By now, probably everybody knew what was about to happen. "I'm not going to spend the rest of my career here kissing your ass for keeping me here! Or is the only reason you're keeping me here is to wear me down so I'll finally sleep with you?"

Tegan's jaw dropped. Her mouth formed words that never came out, just barely audible choking noises. "I didn't mean that," Annalise blurted. "Tegan, I-I didn't mean that."

"Yes, you did." Tegan's voice trembled as she spoke. "But it's okay because you're sorry. Right?" Tegan turned her chair away from Annalise, blocking her entire body from Annalise's view, and stared out of the window. The same window where just the night before, they'd kissed each other in the moonlight. "You're always sorry for hurting me," Tegan pointed out. "But you never stop."

"And you love me anyway." The thought was so depressing to Annalise, especially when Tegan didn't bother to deny it. "Tegan. Look at me." Tegan didn't move, so Annalise walked around Tegan's desk - or tried to. Tegan simply turned the chair back to its original position, giving Annalise her back again. This happened twice more, and it would have been funny under any other circumstances - Tegan spinning around and around in her chair, forcing Annalise to follow. "Will _you stop acting like a child?"_

Tegan stopped spinning and glared up at Annalise, tears streaming down her cheeks. And it hurt - oh God, it _hurt_ Annalise to see Tegan this way, but maybe something good could come from this. "The way you feel about me right now, Tegan? _This_ is what it's like to love me. Whoever you think I am or whatever you think I could be to you...you're wrong."

Annalise tossed her notes to the side and leaned over on Tegan's desk, allowing her to see the tears in Annalise's eyes as well. "All I can give you is heartache day in and day out, just like I already do. Ask anybody who knows me. Ask Michaela." Annalise gestured to the door, where Michaela stood quietly. "She came to Middleton wanting to _be_ me. Michaela," Annalise asked outright as Tegan spun to face her, "is there _anything_ about me being in your life that has made it better?"

Michaela shrugged. "No," she answered flippantly, not a shred of loyalty or honor left in her - not for Annalise, anyway. That had gone out the window long ago.

"You see? Tegan, do you see?" Annalise pleaded. "Ask some of my former students - Connor and Asher. Remember them? Ask Laurel, if you can even find her. I'm her child's godmother and I couldn't tell you where they were if you paid me. Ask Nate how I ruined his life. Ask my first love Eve how I fucked her over. Go to Hell and ask my husband, Tegan! All I can ever do for you is bring you pain and heartache! I've never been anything good to anybody - _not even my damn mama!_ " For whose beautiful home had burned to the ground thanks to little Anna Mae and her uncle's wandering hands?

"I get it, Annalise...I get it," Tegan replied when Annalise stopped talking. "You ain't shit. Is that it?"

It was, but to hear Tegan put it in such cruel terms affected not just Annalise, but Michaela as well. The silence in the room was suffocating - Annalise choking back her tears while Tegan sat so silent and still. Even Michaela was blinking rapidly. "You know something, Annalise?" Tegan finally said. "You're right. I _do_ deserve better than you." She picked up the notes Annalise had set down on her desk and tossed them in her general direction. "I'll see you at the hearing," she said dismissively, spinning around and giving her back to Annalise once more.

There was so much more Annalise wanted to tell Tegan. How she desperately wished she could be the woman Tegan deserved, but it _just couldn't be._ How it had nothing to do with Tegan, who was so wonderful to her, and how Annalise could not, for the life of her, understand why. How Annalise really _wasn't_ shit, and how her ain't-shittness had led to so many terrible decisions in her love life. Denying Tegan was the only smart, well-thought out, unselfish thing she'd ever done, and whatever pain Annalise was feeling, as far as she was concerned, was payback from the universe. "The woman you love so much, Tegan?" Annalise said as she gathered her notes together to leave. "The woman you _think_ I am? She sounds wonderful. I hope I get to meet her one day."

Michaela waited a moment for Tegan to pull herself together, then walked around the desk and went to one knee. With a steady hand, Michaela gently dabbed the tears from Tegan's eyes. She reached into Tegan's clutch and carefully reapplied her mascara, patiently starting over when Tegan quietly began to cry again. When she was finished, Michaela took Tegan's hands in hers. "Deep breaths, okay?" she encouraged. Tegan nodded. "One...two...there you go, nice and easy." Over and over again until Tegan's ragged breaths became smooth again. Tegan's eyes were red and filled with pain, but there was a determination there as well. Heartbreak or no heartbreak, there was business to be done. "Okay. I'm ready to go."

"Want me to walk with you?" Michaela volunteered - not because she expected Tegan to say yes, but just out of habit. She was surprised when Tegan nodded. She grabbed her clutch and keys and went to throw the soiled tissue away, then froze at the door. At the bottom of Tegan's wastebasket were Annalise's well-researched arguments and immaculate notes to be presented to the disciplinary board.

Michaela snatched the tissue from Tegan's hand and threw it on top of Annalise's hard work. "You can't save her, Tegan," she told her mentor firmly. "If she wants to piss her career away, so be it. But it's your job as managing partner to do what's best for _Caplan and Gold,_ not what's best for Annalise Keating." Tegan's brow furrowed in thought. "What's best for Caplan and Gold," Michaela went on, "might not be Annalise Keating. Did you ever consider that?"

"And what's best for Annalise Keating might not be Caplan and Gold," Tegan finished. "You're right, Michaela. I've been looking at this at the wrong angle."

Whether Tegan actually felt better or was just acting like it, Michaela didn't know. But she felt a surge of pride walking down the hall by Tegan's side. They had to walk past Annalise's office to get to the elevator, and Michaela knew that Annalise _must_ have felt some kind of way seeing the two of them striding down the hall in all their magical black girl glory. "Is she looking?" Tegan asked at the elevator, the very personification of cool now.

Michaela stepped in the elevator alongside Tegan. "She's looking."

Tegan smiled. "Good." Michaela smiled, too.

___

To get to the top floor, one had to have either a scanned hand print against the elevator panel - which Tegan had - or an escort with a keycard. The top floor was unlike anything Michaela had ever seen. It actually looked like a presidential hotel suite, complete with a gym, a pool, and full bedroom suites behind each closed door. "Tegan!" One of the partners came to Tegan and shook her hand. "Mark Caplan," he introduced himself to Michaela. "Tegan was an intern at Unger and Pace while I was a junior partner there."

"Mark, great to see you again. Hate that it has to be under these circumstances...Lila, hello!" A hug this time to an older woman who looked just as pleased to see Tegan as Mark was. "Mark, Lila, this is Michaela Pratt, one of our newest attorneys. Michaela was recently my assistant to counsel, and..." Could this be real - Tegan name dropping Michaela to the senior partners of Caplan and Gold? It felt like a dream. Nothing like the nightmare from this time last year.

Tegan had to walk Michaela back to the elevator, as Michaela was unable to make it move without Tegan's hand print. Just before the doors opened, Michaela took Tegan's face in her hands, as she'd done moments earlier when she was drying her mentor's tears. "Boss bitch mode, remember?" Tegan nodded and smiled. Then, to Michaela's shock, Tegan leaned forward and kissed Michaela on the cheek. "I needed support more than I thought I did," she confessed shyly. "Thank you for not giving up on us, Michaela."

Michaela nearly floated to the elevator, not even feeling the ride down. When the elevator stopped and the doors opened, Annalise stood sulking on the other side with two security guards on either side of her to escort her to the top floor. It made Annalise look more like a convict on her way to a parole meeting, rather than a former potential junior partner. Looking at Michaela, Annalise's eyes suddenly grew wide, then narrowed again. "Having fun, you traitorous bitch?" she spat, not caring who heard her.

Behind Annalise, Pierce Jensen was coming up the lobby. When he saw the back of Annalise's head, he quickly turned and walked in the opposite direction to avoid riding with her. "I'm having a blast," she gloated, refusing to be cut down by Annalise's name-calling. Hadn't she just been on the executive floor, having been introduced by Tegan Price herself? Hadn't Pierce Jensen gone out of his way to avoid having to talk to Annalise before he had to? _To hell with Annalise Keating._

Walking back to her desk, Michaela caught a glimpse of her reflection in a mirrored frame in the lobby. _No wonder Annalise was so mad,_ Michaela thought, quickly wiping Tegan's lip print from her cheek. No telling what Annalise thought they'd been doing up there, especially with all those beds and showers. The thought cracked Michaela up. Good Lord, if that old woman would just be honest with herself for a change...

"Excuse me, young lady?" Having avoided Annalise by walking to the front of C&G and back again, Pierce Jensen now stood before Michaela. "Did I just see you just come from the _executive_ floor?"

"Oh! Uh-yes. Yes, Mr. Jensen," Michaela stammered. "Uh-I was escorting Tegan - I mean Ms. Price to a meeting." _Damn it!_ The look on Jensen's face told Michaela that she wasn't even supposed to know about the meeting. _Think Michaela! Think!_ "We-we were just reviewing some last minute thoughts about what happened last night at the party. Clarifying a couple of things so that- "

"Wait a minute," Pierce cut off Michaela. "You were at the party with Tegan?" he asked, suddenly interested in far more than Michaela's elevator ride. "You _saw_ what happened last night between Tegan and Annalise Keating?"

Michaela swallowed. "Yeah-yes. Yes, sir. I did." A seed began to grow in Michaela's head. Jensen was the only partner she hadn't been able to meet, not until now. Here was another chance to make a good impression. "I was right there when the whole thing happened, Mr. Jensen. And I saw _everything_."

__

Annalise had to be buzzed into the senior corporate office, the one that she couldn't dream of having access to for years and years. How ironic that the only time she would ever see it was on the day she was going to lose her job.

There were five senior partners at Caplan and Gold, all mingling and chatting with Tegan. Mark Caplan was the son of C&G founder Richard Caplan, who founded the company with Julius Gold, who was still working at C&G. Lila Markell was the lone female senior partner, having worked at C&G even before Mark came aboard. There was that damned Pierce Jensen here, eagerly waiting for her dismissal, and his toadie Lionel Kensington. All white. Four males. They all fell silent when Annalise walked into the room - no warm greetings and handshakes not like the night before, when Annalise was up for junior partner.

The Bastard Five, as Annalise called them in her head took their seats directly across from Annalise. Tegan sat in the lone seat on the west end of the table, forcing Annalise to sit directly across from her on the east side. "Ms. Keating." Markell got to the matter right away. "We're here to discuss the event that occurred last night. According to numerous reports, you were dangerously inebriated, and you threw a glass of cranberry vodka in the face of your supervisor, Tegan Price, in a drunken rage."

"How do you explain your behavior, Annalise?" Jensen asked, getting straight to the point. The sooner this termination hearing could begin, the better.

This was all pointless. No way these good ol' boys were going to buy Annalise's alcoholism-as-disability defense no matter how airtight her arguments were. Even if she hadn't thrown her notes away a few minutes ago, it wouldn't have mattered. And she certainly wasn't going to receive any help from Tegan, who wouldn't even look at her. _To hell with this._ "I tripped," Annalise answered insolently.

The Bastard Five exchanged astonished looks. "You _tripped_?" Caplan asked, disbelieving.

"I tripped," Annalise repeated, resigned to her fate.

A pause, and then lighthearted peal of laughter came from the west side of the table. "It's good to know that even in a time like this, Ms. Keating still has a sense of humor." Tegan's cheerful voice was as fake as her smile. She shot a look at Annalise. _Laugh or die,_ her eyes ordered. Annalise mustered up a smile while the air filled with uncomfortable chuckling.

"Tripped or not," a stone-faced Jensen began, "we have heard numerous reports that the reason for your unprofessional behavior was due to public intoxication. From what your files show, you have a problem with alcoholism - one that has gone back for years and even resulted in you nearly being disbarred not once, but _twice_. Is this true, Annalise?" Pierce asked, knowing full well that it was, but just wanting to hear Annalise reconfirm this in front of everyone.

"My struggles with alcohol were known to Caplan and Gold _before_ I was hired," Annalise reminded the disciplinary board. "I have completed the legally required counseling for alcoholism-"

"For all the good it did," Kensington quipped, drawing a chuckle from Jensen and Caplan, along with a frown from Markell.

"- and I remind this board that alcoholism is covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act," Annalise went on, ignoring the laughter, not to mention the repeated use of her first name, unlike Ms. Price or Mrs. Markell.

"The ADA requires accommodations for your alcoholism, which you have not requested." Markell flipped through her notes. "And overlooking your unprofessional behavior is not a requirement under the law, disability or not." Markell set her pen down. "Allow me to be clear about something - if I may take that time, gentlemen." Markell addressed her fellow partners, who nodded. "I don't like you, Annalise," the older woman said outright. "I don't like your aggressive tone. I don't like your disrespectful manner. I don't like the idea of keeping a drunk on our payroll. If this board determines that you have no place here at C&G, I will _gladly_ volunteer to be the first person to sign the papers to be rid of you at last."

"Let me add to that, Mrs. Markell," Kensington piped up, eager to rattle off his qualms as well. "I don't think you understand how lucky you are to be sitting here today, Annalise. Ms. Price here had the right to fire you _without_ due process - not to mention press charges against you for assault. Either you lack the respect to acknowledge this gift, or you seem to think your _very_ average record here at C&G is going to save you because you won a case against the Supreme Court. I assure you that it will not."

This was Annalise's cue to express gratitude towards her benevolent boss and loudly proclaim that she, too, was a disciple of the Church of Tegan Christ. Annalise said nothing, and the Board took note of that. "I acknowledge that Ms. Keating has an long, distinguished career as an attorney, not to mention an excellent win-loss rate," Caplan observed kindly. "But this is Caplan and Gold. All of the attorneys here are excellent. And the major case you did litigate, you lost."

"Maybe you're a great attorney at smaller firms or in private practice," Jensen added smugly. "But as far as I'm concerned, you're more trouble than you're worth. Maybe you're just not good enough to be a lawyer at Caplan and Gold."

One by one, all five Board members laid out their grievances with Annalise, even though they'd treated her so kindly the night before. Annalise was irascible. Combative. Self-absorbed. Ungrateful. Disrespectful - that complaint kept coming up. The onslaught was unbearable, especially with _Ms. Price_ sitting quietly by taking notes. The juxtaposition was painfully obvious - the pleasant, well-spoken (fair-skinned, biracial) team player versus the combative angry black bitch with the thick thighs and troublesome background. It took everything in Annalise not to rise to her feet and scream at all of them to go to Hell.

"As I said, Ms. Keating," Markell repeated when the lambasting finally ended. "I don't like you. And I don't trust you. " She then smiled at Tegan, the tiny, hard-working, good little mixed girl. "But I know Ms. Price as a woman of honor and integrity, and I trust your judgment. If you believe Ms. Keating is worth saving, then I'm willing to hear what you have to say."

"I agree, Mrs. Markell," Gold said, "Especially since Ms. Price here was the one who was on the opposite end of Ms. Keating's disgraceful behavior. Her opinion is something that will certainly weigh heavily on our decision today." Gold smiled at Tegan. "Ms. Price, what is your recommendation for disciplinary action against Annalise Keating?"

Tegan rose from the west side of the table. "Ten days' unpaid suspension," she announced. "And restitution for my ruined shirt."

The Bastard Five grew quiet. _"Ten days' suspension?"_ Gold repeated, no longer smiling. Even Annalise was surprised - this was quite the departure from the suggestion she'd told Annalise not even 20 minutes ago.

"Ten days _unpaid_ suspension," Tegan repeated. "And restitution for my shirt."

"Ms. Price," Kensington said, "You can't _possibly_ be serious, can you?"

"It was an expensive shirt."

And then, for reasons that were unclear, Tegan took over the disciplinary hearing. It soon became apparent to Annalise how Tegan had risen so high so fast. Where Annalise pushed, Tegan nudged; where Annalise demanded, Tegan encouraged reconsideration. She turned every argument on its head and put out every fire. Tegan was, for lack of a better term, the anti-Annalise. Two sides of the same coin, yes. But one side was made of honey; the other, of vinegar.

Tegan made no excuses for Annalise, and she denied nothing that the Board had said of her. Instead, she turned Annalise's flaws into valuable assets. If Annalise was so mediocre, Tegan asked, why was Caplan and Gold courting her to be a junior partner just the night before? Was Annalise truly combative, or was she passionate? Was she self-absorbed or confident? "Why are the very traits that were praised when Annalise was hired suddenly liabilities for C&G?" she asked the Board, and not one of them could come up with an answer.

Most critically, Tegan focused not on Annalise's past actions, but on the actions yet to come. Yes, the Board could terminate Annalise's employment, but what good would it do C&G Philadelphia to get rid of a lawyer of Annalise's caliber just because they _could_? Had Annalise done something so egregious that it warranted termination? Annalise had succumbed to her disability - which was a tragedy, but one that could be remedied. At worst, Annalise ruined a shirt that Tegan didn't even like. "We are here to discuss what is best for Caplan and Gold," Tegan finished as the senior board members listened intently. "Annalise Keating is a part of Caplan and Gold. That means we must examine what is best for _her_ as well as this firm."

A couple of nods. Lots of writing. Tegan commanded the attention of every person in the room. "I believe we all agree that disability or not, drunkenness has no place at a Caplan and Gold event," Tegan finished. "As I said earlier, my final recommendation for Ms. Keating is a written reprimand, ten days unpaid suspension and restitution for the cost of my shirt."

The Bastard Five murmured among themselves as Tegan sat down. A couple of them - Markell in particular - no longer looked at Annalise with such intense animosity. But Jensen wasn't convinced, and his slow, sarcastic clapping let everyone know where he still stood. "Very touching speech, Ms. Price," he noted. "You fight for your friend so...passionately."

"Ms. Price," Kensington added, "do you take us for fools? No other lawyer would even have had a disciplinary board put together. You would have terminated them for throwing a drink on you."

"No other lawyer has the pedigree that Ms. Keating has," Tegan countered. "And we have no evidence to suggest that Ms. Keating threw anything. Ms. Keating says that she tripped, and I-"

"We don't need evidence. We have an eye witness," Jensen interrupted. "Someone who can attest to what _really_ happened last night." Jensen leaned back. "Bring in Michaela Pratt," he ordered, and he smiled for the first time all day.

TBC


	5. The Mirror Has Two Faces

During Annalise's darkest moments, Annalise dreamed about betrayal from the Keating Five, later the Keating Four. The most common dream was that she was in court on trial for her life. Not just for Sam, but for Rebecca, Sinclair, the Hapstalls, Denver - all of them. She would sit helplessly while her children betrayed her one by one. They told the truth, they told lies, they left things out and added things all to see her jailed for life, maybe even the death penalty. And the first one to loudly lead the charge would always, _always_ be Michaela Pratt.

_So this is how it ends._ No wonder Michaela had been so snotty all day long. This was her chance to get Annalise back for everything - for Sam, for Wes, even for her father. And not just hurt her - _destroy_ her. This was how it was all going to end - at the hands of the woman who once wanted to be like her. A rookie lawyer, for God's sake. Everything Annalise had done to protect Michaela and the others over the years...in the end, it meant nothing. 

To Annalise's shock, Michaela walked down the table, pausing to shake hands with every attorney. Had she already met them before? Of course. This morning with Tegan. This was where Tegan was. Had they mutually planned for Annalise's downfall? Was this Tegan's way of getting back at Annalise once and for all, she wondered as Michaela handed Markell an envelope - probably her goddamned resume. Annalise looked over at Tegan for answers, but Tegan looked just as confused and startled as Annalise felt.

"Thank you for your assistance, Ms. Pratt," Caplan greeted as Michaela took a seat. "Hopefully, we'll be able to get to the bottom of this in order to level the appropriate sanctions against Ms. Keating, if any."

"I'm happy to be of help, Mr. Caplan," Michaela took her seat and smiled "Anything to contribute to uphold the integrity of this firm." Annalise could have slapped her, and Tegan looked like she wasn't too far off from it.

"Ms. Pratt," Markell began. Notepads began to scrawl. "Please tell me what you witnessed last night."

"Yes, ma'am." Michaela cleared her throat, as if she'd been practicing for this moment all her life. "Even before this incident, Ms. Keating was displaying potentially displaying drunken behavior. I saw her in the C&G lobby arguing loudly with Ms. Price. She seemed-"

"Objection," Annalise interrupted, even though this wasn't a formal courtroom trial. "Whatever Michaela _thinks_ she witnessed with my conversation with Ms. Price is hearsay." Annalise glared at Michaela. "But just for the record, I was _not_ drunk during our conversation. Ms. Price will certainly confirm that I was drinking Sprite all night until after our meeting."

"Ms. Price was working at the blackjack table most of the night?" Kensington asked. "How can she vouch that-"

Gold held up his hand for silence. "Continue, Ms. Pratt. And please keep your testimony limited to your witnessing Ms. Keating's inebriated behavior."

"Yes, sir." Michaela looked a bit disappointed at the chastising. "I witnessed Ms. Keating arguing with a bartender later that evening. She had already been drinking, even though she'd just come off probation for her alcoholism. He was refusing to serve her alcohol because she'd already had to much to drink-"

"Again, hearsay. And that's not even true!" Annalise objected. The bartender _had_ started to water her drinks down, but Annalise didn't think this was a good thing to bring up. 

"You weren't arguing with a bartender, Annalise?" Markell asked.

"We're not here because Annalise was arguing with a bartender," Tegan spoke up. "And we have no idea what they were discussing. For all we know, they could have been talking about politics or religion."

"Agreed," said Caplan. "Again, Ms. Pratt. Limit your testimony to what you saw and heard personally. We're not interested in how you interpreted things."

Michaela's cocky demeanor was starting to wilt. "I tried to talk to Ms. Keating about her drinking, as she was beginning to disturb our event. Ms. Keating proceeded to me to shove me away and say things that I will not repeat here-"

"That's what this is about, Michaela? Really?" Annalise interrupted. "After everything I've done for you over the years, you're sitting here being a whiny little snitch because I hurt your feelings?!"

"Ms. Keating!" Markell snapped. "If you continue to interrupt this hearing, I'll sanction you myself!" Annalise seethed, but there was nothing she could say. "Continue, Ms. Pratt."

"Yes, Mrs. Markell. As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted..." 

Michaela wasn't telling anything that the Board didn't know, but it was still humiliating for Annalise to hear the blow-by-blow of her drunken antics. Michaela even brought up the times where Annalise and Robert repeatedly disappeared all night, although she made it sound like Annalise was getting sick, rather than getting her back banged out - a small comfort. Tegan shot Annalise a look when Michaela got to the part where Annalise had drunkenly dumped Robert. Annalise hadn't mentioned that earlier.

Finally, Michaela got to the part everyone was waiting to hear. "I went to get Bonnie Winterbottom to help escort Ms. Keating out of the building before she continued to disrupt the evening's events. By this time, Ms. Keating so drunk that she could not walk on her own. Ms. Winterbottom had to help Ms. Keating to the door from the bar. She could barely walk. That's when Ms. Price came around the corner. She was concerned about Annalise's health and asked if she was leaving so soon."

"And that's when you saw Annalise Keating throw the drink and the glass at Ms. Price?" Jensen's eyes were shining, he was so excited to see Annalise humiliated - and by one of her former students, no less.

Michaela looked over at Annalise, then turned her body slightly to address the Board. "No," she announced. "I didn't see Ms. Keating throw anything."

Voices murmured. Writing hands stood still. Jensen's smile froze. "Excuse me?"

"Ms. Pratt, you are saying that you did _not_ see how Ms. Price got vodka all over her clothes?" Kensington asked.

"Oh, yes. I saw that part. When Ms. Price came in to tell Ms. Keating goodbye and Ms. Keating turned around, she tripped over Ms. Winterbottom's feet and the glass of alcohol splashed Ms. Price in the face."

A ghost of a smile crossed Tegan's lips. The scenario wasn't _too_ unbelievable. Even in heels, Tegan was much shorter than Annalise. But only the most gullible person would believe Michaela's story. "I thought we weren't going to base our decision based on what Ms. Pratt thinks she saw," Caplan pointed out. "Perhaps we should talk to Ms. Winterbottom."

"No need," Markell handed Jensen an opened envelope, the one Michaela had given her earlier. "Ms. Winterbottom's notarized statement is right here."

Jensen snatched the envelope out of Markell's hand and took out the letter. Whatever was in the contents of Bonnie's statement didn't make him happy. "I'd like to see that," Caplan announced, and Jensen was forced to hand the letter down to Gold, who read over the statement, then handed it to Caplan. "According to Ms. Winterbottom's statement," Caplan announced, " _she_ was the one who caused Ms. Keating to trip and accidentally spill her drink on Tegan."

"I tried to explain to Mr. Jensen that it was all an accident," Michaela informed the Board, "but he insisted that I come here to tell you all in person. Is everything okay?" she asked, so wide-eyed and innocent that it took everything in Tegan not to laugh. Michaela was even worse of an actress than she was a liar.

"Told you I tripped," Annalise couldn't help but gloat. Tegan shot her a look, and Annalise shut up. This entire disciplinary hearing was falling apart. Neither Bonnie nor Michaela had given the Board the information they needed to proceed, while Tegan was skillfully playing dumb. And if Michaela had told Jensen a different story earlier, he certainly couldn't inform the Board of that information now. In fact, it was tempting for Annalise to ask Jensen how Michaela wound up speaking to him in the first place. But Annalise was smart enough to know when to quit. 

Jensen's face was practically purple. "You!" he shouted to Michaela. "Out! And pack your things - immediately!"

"Excuse me, Mr. Jensen," Tegan interrupted. "I hope you are not retaliating against Ms. Pratt for participating in a protected activity that _you_ asked her do."

An uncomfortable silence filled the room. "We'll talk later," Jensen threatened to Michaela, who looked like she was about to cry.

"No." Tegan's voice was firm. "You will not. Ms. Pratt, you will resume your duties as usual."

Michaela no longer had that confidence she'd displayed earlier, and she practically ran out of the room. "This is all been well and good, lady and gentlemen." Annalise stood up and pushed her chair in. "Now, if I'm on trial here, I have the right to an attorney. Otherwise, I have work to do."

"One second, Ms. Keating." Jensen's voice was hard as stone. "Ms. Pratt mentioned something about a fight she witnessed between you and Ms. Price. You told me that you were not drinking during this argument, so it's not hard to deduct that this conversation was the event that led to Ms. Keating's drinking. I'd like to hear more about that before you leave."

"Excuse me," said Tegan. "What Annalise and I were discussing is private. I assure all of you that it had nothing to do with Caplan and Gold business."

"Yes, but it was on C&G property." Kensington caught on to what Jensen was trying to do.

"And it led to Annalise's inappropriate behavior at a Caplan and Gold event," Gold agreed, to Annalise's surprise. She took him as far more neutral than he was letting on. "If what the two of you were discussing was so serious that it led to Ms. Keating's relapse, you can see why that's a cause for concern for our company."

"It must have been a pretty serious issue to make Ms. Keating fall off the wagon in public and throw a drink in your face." Kensington smirked. "Excuse me, I mean _conveniently_ tripping and splashing a drink in your face. I also believe the subject of the discussion is fair."

Leave it to Michaela's big mouth to give Jensen the opportunity to save face! "Do you wish to make a statement in your defense, Ms. Keating?" Markell asked.

Annalise had something to say, all right. But just before she stood to force her career to end in flames, Tegan rose to her feet. "Gentlemen." She nodded to acknowledge Markell. "You all know that my family was killed in a plane trash. I lost my parents and both sets of grandparents. I lost six brothers and sisters. I pray that none of you ever know that type of pain and loneliness." She nodded towards Annalise. "I don't think it's a secret that Annalise and I are more than just co-workers, or supervisor and employee. Annalise is the closest thing I have on this earth to family. Sometimes, family members fight. Surely you all can relate that."

Once again, Tegan had the Board's undivided attention. "The truth is...even if Annalise had thrown that drink at me on purpose - and let me stress that I do not believe that she did - I deserved it. Not in public, of course," Tegan added quickly. " _Certainly_ not at a work function. But I was not sensitive to Annalise's alcoholism when I said the things I did. And as her supervisor, I have to take partial responsibility for that." Tegan sat down and turned to Annalise, no longer addressing the Board. "I'm sorry, Annalise," she said, and anyone could see that her apology was truly from the heart. "I hope that our friendship survives all of this, regardless of the outcome."

Annalise knew she should say something. A mutual apology or at least an acknowledgement of her words. But if she said anything, Annalise feared that she would break down crying. All she could do was nod at Tegan, who had the same unreadable look on her face that she always did in times like these. 

"So you will not answer our question," Jensen confirmed. "You will not tell this Board what was discussed that led to Ms. Keating's relapse?"

"Did it ever occur to you that I might be making stuff up, Mr. Jensen, if I answer your question?" Tegan was beginning to sound as flippant as Annalise.

"You could," Jensen agreed. "But we all know that you have too much integrity to do that." He nodded to Annalise. "Unless you've been taking lessons from _her_."

"And judging by this ridiculous story you've all concocted, I'm starting to wonder about the decision to place you at managing partner, Ms. Price," Caplan added.

"Why are you making this about Tegan?" Annalise demanded to know. She knew it was the last thing she should be doing, but something about this reversal of questioning didn't bode well for Annalise _or_ Tegan. "You're here to discuss my fate, and you don't need either one of us here to do that."

"We'll discuss whatever we damn well please, Ms. Keating." Gold's voice was hard. "We still don't have a complete story. And it's obvious by your behavior - not to mention the manipulation you've pulled off today - that we'll never know what truly happened"

"Well, let's review what we do know." Jensen flipped over his notes. "Ms. Price, you have stated that you were partly responsible for what happened last night, yet you will not inform the Board what the two of you were discussing, even though that discussion is what lead to Ms. Keating's behavior. In order to atone for the part you played in this incident - _which you have already acknowledged_ \- I am recommending that the Board issue _you_ a suspension of ten business days without pay instead of Ms. Keating."

The Board erupted. The dismissal of Annalise was one thing, but suspending one of C&G's most valued employees was another matter entirely. "This is obviously retaliation against Ms. Price for not indulging in office gossip!" Annalise stood and eyed Jensen fiercely. "Just because you had a weak case against me in the first place, that doesn't give you the right to-"

"Sit down, Ms. Keating!" Gold waited until Annalise sat before he spoke again, then looked down the table. "Pierce, you cannot issue a suspension unilaterally for a managing partner. There has to be a vote, and-"

"No need for a vote," Tegan said, sounding downright amused by this point. "I accept the suspension."

"Tegan! No!" Blood rushed to Annalise's head as the pro and con voices so loud that Annalise couldn't be heard. "You can't just accept the suspension, Ms. Price," Gold informed her. "There has to be a hearing first, and-."

"I waive my right to a hearing," Tegan interrupted. "And I waive my right to a vote. I accept the suspension."

 _She's going to to through with this,_ Annalise realized, horrified at Tegan's kamikaze plan and powerless to stop it. She did the only thing she could think of: "I want to make a statement on behalf of Ms. Price," Annalise informed the Board. If Tegan wasn't willing to tell what happened, she would.

"You are _not_ to make a statement," Tegan ordered Annalise. "And there is no reason for you to make one. As I said, I waive my right to a hearing and to a vote." 

"You can't waive your right to a vote, Ms. Price," Caplan corrected Tegan. "The hearing, yes. But a vote has to go through before you can be suspended." He gave Tegan a sympathetic smile. "One of the perks of your position, I guess."

"Very well," Tegan sighed and sat back in her chair. "Make the decision now, please," she asked the Board. "As long as you're all here, I see no need to reconvene at a later date." 

That Tegan could call the shots in front of the senior brass - especially a founding partner - spoke volumes about the kind of respect she brought. "I want to make a statement!" Annalise insisted. "If Ms. Price is up for suspension, then she has every right to witnesses and counsel-"

"Ms. Keating!" Tegan was practically shouting now. "You are _not_ to make a statement on my behalf. _That_ is an order!" Tegan was starting to wonder whether the partners were right about Annalise - that she really _wasn't_ worth the headache it took to manage her. 

"Let's get on with this," Markell said loudly, and she waited for the women to take their seats. Annalise was trembling with anger - not for herself, but for Tegan. "My answer is no. You've done nothing to warrant a suspension. 90 days unpaid suspension for Ms. Keating, plus mandatory alcoholic counseling and restitution for Ms. Price's shirt. That's my final decision."

Any other day, Annalise would've protested such a strict decision. Today, she embraced it. "I accept," she said without hesitation.

"I accept Ms. Price's suspension," Jensen said immediately. There was no reason to say why; a vote didn't require an explanation.

"I accept Ms. Price's suspension well," Kensington voted, which was no surprise. "I don't want you to take this the wrong way, Ms. Price, but I don't believe your story. Nor do I believe anyone else who has testified for you here."

"So you're calling four women liars," Annalise retorted, "three of them women of color?"

"You are not here because you are a woman of color, Ms. Keating." Gold's voice was tight. "You're here because you were drunk at a work function and threw a drink at your supervisor."

"I have three witnesses who say I didn't-"

"-and every one of them has a vested interest in you-"

"Then why are we here?" Annalise slammed her palms on the conference table. "What is the point of due process if you're going to reject the statements of anybody you don't like? Do I need to find a white male to speak on my behalf before any of you believe me?"

"Fat chance," Jensen chuckled under his breath.

"Excuse me?" Annalise asked sharply, as did Tegan. 

Caplan held up his hand, ushering silence from everyone. "Tegan." He considered his words very carefully. "With all due respect to Ms. Keating, you are _everything_ that she is not. Even one day without you in this building is one day too many. Furthermore, you have the right to keep a private matter private." Caplan closed his notes. "Final decision is the same as Mrs. Markell's for Annalise Keating. Ninety days unpaid suspension, mandatory drug and alcohol counseling and restitution for Ms. Price's clothing."

That was two for Annalise's suspension and two for Tegan's suspension. The final decision was up to Gold. As the founding partner of Caplan and Gold, Gold not only had a tiebreaking vote during an odd-numbered panel, but his vote also counted twice during an even-numbered panel. "Mr. Gold," Annalise begged. "Please, let me talk to my supervisor before you cast your vote. _Please_." 

Gold thought it over. "We'll reconvene in five minutes," he decided, and Jensen scowled.

With precious minutes ticking away, Tegan had no choice but to follow Annalise to the adjoining conference room next door. Before Tegan could say a word, Annalise slammed the door behind her. "Tegan, no. You hear me? _You say no."_ It was the same thing Tegan had said to Annalise long ago, back during another one of her bullshit hearings - that time for misconduct in front of a three-panel judge at City Hall. Annalise was ready to take a no-contest written reprimand in exchange for skipping the meeting. A written rep might be a small thing now, Tegan warned, but it would be a disaster for her career down the line. "So you say no. You hear me? Okay?" Tegan had ordered her. _"You say no."_

Maybe it was the way Tegan took her hand or the desperate plea in her voice that made Annalise reconsider. It was a grueling two-hour hearing, but Annalise prevailed. Now it was Annalise who held Tegan's hand, pulled her close, forgot about everything and everyone except for the two of them. "This is my fault, not yours. I can't let them do this to you. It's a three-month suspension. I'll take it. But I can't let them do this to you. If a written rep could ruin my career, what do you think a suspension will do for yours?"

"They're not going to fire me," replied Tegan, though her voice lacked the confidence it usually did. "The partners just want me to file a complaint against you so they'll have a written reason to justify your termination. If I leave and you stay, C&G will have to keep us both. But if you leave, the Board will decide three months from now that they've given it further thought and agree that it's best for the company to have you leave. Don't you get it, Annalise? They want me here. It's _you_ they don't want." Tegan reached up and caressed Annalise's cheek. "But I want you. And I'm not giving you up without a fight." 

Such a loaded statement.. "We can't keep doing this, Tegan. I fuck up, you rescue me...it's time I take accountability for my own actions." Annalise took Tegan into her arms. "Don't do this to yourself. Especially not for me. Okay? _You say no."_

A loud clearing of a throat. "Excuse me...do you two need a room?" 

How had Jensen and Kensington been standing there? Not that it mattered. If there was any doubt as to what was happening between Annalise and Tegan, there was no doubting it now. "Family," Kensington chuckled under his breath as they all walked back to the main room. "Yeah, like the Lannister twins." 

When they entered the room to reconvene the hearing, Tegan defiantly sat next to Annalise rather than back on the west side of the table. "What a quandary, Ms. Price." Jensen was back on top now. "Not the kind of situation a managing partner would normally put themselves in. If you testify against Ms. Keating, then she faces sanctions up and to termination. But if you don't, _you_ risk sanctions up and to including termination. Kind of makes you wonder why you called this meeting in the first place."

"If I hadn't, you would have fired Annalise outright," Tegan answered. "I believed that Annalise had the right to tell her side of the story, and to have witnesses to testify on her behalf. And let me remind you that the witness you called on supported Annalise."

"Yes, a witness who was her former student," Kensington griped. "But there's a way to rectify this, of course. If you disagree with a potential suspension, Ms. Price, you are free to simply answer our questions as to the events that led to Ms. Keating's behavior."

"As I said before," Tegan repeated, "the conversation was private, and had nothing to do with Caplan and Gold. I will not divulge the contents of our discussion."

"Tegan..." Gold sounded downright bewildered by Tegan's loyalty, "You really want to risk your future here at Caplan and Gold on the likes of Annalise Keating?"

Of course, the aim of Jensen's recommendation for suspension was not to actually see Tegan suspended. C&G simply wanted Tegan on record as having spoken against Annalise's behavior. A formal complaint from a managing editor was all they need to justify Annalise's termination without due process, and the fact that Tegan did allow for a hearing would make it even better. "Believe me, Mr. Gold, I want nothing more but to continue my work here uninterrupted. But I will not let this Board bully a woman for having a disability." Tegan's voice grew harder and stronger. "And I _will not_ be bullied into revealing a private conversation that has nothing to do with the events at hand."

"You will not testify?" Gold repeated. "Is that correct?"

 _"Tegan..."_ Annalise pleaded, but Tegan didn't bat an eye. "That is correct," she affirmed.

"There goes the PIXMA account," Caplan said under his breath. Markell slumped back and put her head in her hands. "I'm disappointed in you, Tegan. But this is your decision, and I have to respect your autonomy." Gold closed his notebook. "Tegan Price, you are hereby suspended from your position as managing partner of Caplan and Gold. During your suspension, you will not receive any salary. You are not to practice law. Any one of your current cases-"

It all felt so unreal. "No! You can't do this! Do something, please!" Annalise begged Markell, the lone woman on the board. All Markell could do was shake her head wordlessly. The vote had been made - there was nothing she could do. "This would never happen if Tegan was a man and you know it!" she shouted at the Board. 

"Ms. Keating!" Caplan thundered. "Either take your seat or leave immediately." 

Annalise's shoulders sagged as she sat back in her chair. When Gold was finished, Tegan simply rose, nodded in acknowledgement of her instructions, and left the room without a word. In time, Tegan would go back to the office, gather her things, and walk the hall back to the elevator in disgrace. The gossip would flow. The lots for Tegan's position would be cast. And Tegan wouldn't even be around to defend herself.

Five set of eyes cut into Annalise. "Ms. Keating." The disgust in Jensen's voice was apparent, and it reflected the attitude of the entire board. "This hearing is over. You may go back to work." Jansen stood and gave a mock salute. "We'll see you next time."

* * *

_They hate me. They **all** hate me._

Those words echoed through Annalise's head as she wandered out of the room, to the stairs, and down the hall in a daze. Tegan was right. The Board _didn't_ want her. All her hard work for this company didn't matter. The clients she'd secured for Caplan and Gold didn't matter. They just wanted Annalise for junior partner so they could have a Black face among the rest of the JP's - Annalise knew that now. And the fact that Tegan was willing to fall on her sword for Annalise couldn't possibly be good for either of them. 

Annalise tried to ignore the angry looks at her co-workers as she stumbled down the hall. Everyone knew that Tegan had been suspended - and more importantly, that Annalise was _not_ being suspended. The nasty looks shot in her direction were like needles digging into her back. The partners weren't the only ones who didn't want Annalise. Apparently the other C&G staff felt the same way. And any clientele Tegan would have to give up would certainly have preferred Tegan as well.

Annalise wasn't surprised to find Michaela sitting in her office chair, staring into space. "I was keeping it it warm for you, Your Grace," Michaela said sarcastically. "Welcome back." 

Annalise didn't sit down, even though she had the right to. "What...have I told you...about saying too much?" she demanded. "If you had just kept your mouth shut, they never would have known about the fight. But you had to run your damn mouth and give them what it took for them to suspend Tegan." 

Michaela looked up at Annalise, her eyes swollen and red. She already knew what Annalise was telling her. "I was hoping that if I made you look bad in the beginning, they would let me talk long enough to get to the end of the story," she confessed. A noble idea. An Annalise-like tactic. Only Michaela hadn't been in law long enough to pull it off.

Annalise took a seat in her chair. "Why didn't you tell them the truth?" she asked Michaela. "You could've gotten rid of me. Taken this office you love so much."

Michaela crossed her arms. "You might be a drunk and a screwup and a bitch. But whatever you are or whatever you're not, you don't deserve what they were trying to do to you. They don't get to destroy you. Tegan doesn't get to destroy you. Only I get to destroy you." Michaela gave Annalise a small, sad smile, one that Annalise nodded and matched. "Besides, Tegan doesn't want you gone, though God knows I can't figure out why."

"Because Tegan loves me." Annalise put her head in her hands. "I'm not surprised. Well...I mean I am surprised. Once you left, some of the Board members demanded that Tegan tell them what we were talking about last night. They blamed her for my getting drunk. And Tegan wouldn't tell them. Jensen recommended suspending Tegan instead of me, and Tegan didn't even blink. She said okay."

Michaela held up the notes Annalise had so meticulously prepared, the ones that Annalise had thrown away shortly before the meeting. "But before that...you tried to tank your own disciplinary hearing because you love Tegan." Michaela's voice grew soft. "Don't you?" she prompted.

Annalise closed her eyes. The tears she'd been holding back during the meeting slid down her cheeks. "I thought that if the Board let me go, then maybe Tegan could come out of this unscathed. But the they started pushing for information about our fight last night...Tegan could've thrown me under the bus, but she didn't." Annalise looked up at Michaela, tears streaming down her face. "I begged her to fight. I _swear_ I did. I even offered to make a statement, but she would not allow it."

"Because you love her?" Michaela repeated, and Annalise nodded. "I hope someone loves me like that one day. I mean, without all this fuckery." Rather than reaming her out like Annalise suspected she would, Michaela placed her hand on Annalise's shoulder. "Maybe now things will finally get better now that you've admitted that you love Tegan. That's what all of this was about, right? Last night?" Annalise nodded. "Okay, then. It can be fixed. There's no way they're going to get rid of Tegan, and you're in the clear. Tegan made the right choice, even if it doesn't seem like it right now."

"But it'll go in her service record," Annalise worried aloud. "And if there ever comes a time when they need to review it or if she's up for a promotion, they'll see a big, fat suspension - from the senior partners, no less. I have to do something, Michaela - I just don't know what."

A soft knock on Annalise's glass door filled the air. "Michaela." Bonnie handed Michaela a box of files. "Tegan said to keep these in your office for safekeeping until she comes back."

"Tegan's gone?" Bonnie nodded, and a spark went off in Annalise's mind. "Have they announced whose going to be her replacement for the next few days?"

"Not that I know, of, but-."

"Good." Annalise swiftly rose and left her office, rushing down the steps. The senior partners had go to the bottom floor to leave the building. Had she missed them already? She'd have to wait in the parking lot. Annalise couldn't miss talking to at least one of them...

"Oh, no," Annalise whispered when she got to the garage. Cars were already pulling out of the lot. They were leaving, and Annalise's chance to make things right was slipping away. So she did the only thing she could think of - she jumped in front of the last car leaving.

 _"Annalise Keating!"_ The driver got out of the car. "Are you drunk again?" Markell demanded to know. Jensen got out of the car as well from the passenger's side "What the hell are you thinking, jumping in front of my car this way?"

"Ms. Markell," Annalise gasped. The last minute sprint had taken the wind out of her. "You have to call the partners back. Please, call them back."

"Ms. Keating, you were given the opportunity to have your say. And you let Ms. Price take the fall for your behavior." The disappointment in Markell's voice was clear. "Certainly you don't think anybody believed that ridiculous story you spun, do you? And Ms. Price has made it clear that you are not to make a statement on her behalf. This meeting is over."

This was her chance. A long shot, but..."Tegan Price is now suspended," Annalise pressed. "That means she is no longer my boss and no longer has any authority over me."

"But her order for censure does stand," Jensen pointed out. "And we have the authority to take disciplinary actions you break that censure. That means that everything Ms. Price has done for you will be for nothing. You will be suspended right alongside her." The very idea made Jensen smile. He had no love for Tegan, either, and certainly not after today. "And I promise you, Ms. Keating, that your suspension will be far longer than three months. In fact, it might be a permanent one." 

"I understand that," Annalise answered, trying to be as calm and respectful as she could be. "But I still want to make a statement. _And_ I expect to be able to make it in front of the entire Board. I need you to call them all back."

"Have you gone deaf?" Jensen snapped. "You don't call the shots around here - we do!"

"Perhaps you shouldn't," Markell commented. "We just lost our best lawyer for two weeks because you didn't think Ms. Price would call your bluff, Pierce. And I, personally, would be very interested in what Ms. Keating has to say. It certainly must be important, seeing that Ms. Keating is risking so much."

For the first time all day, Annalise was in control. "Reconvene the Board," she ordered the senior partners, and she couldn't resist throwing a triumphant smirk at Pierce Jensen. "Trust me," she promised, "you're _all_ going to want to hear what I have to say."

TBC


	6. Getting Better All the Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annalise has disregarded Tegan's orders to remain silent, and Tegan might be the one who suffers (again).

_"Ms. Keating, when Richard and I founded this law firm 30 years ago, I never imagined that I would be sitting across from a disgraced lawyer who actually had the audacity to call a second meeting before my top partners after coming *this* close to being fired._

_Personally, I have better things to do than to listen to you again - like play with my balls. You have exactly five minutes to tell us what you need to say. And I promise you, Annalise, that if you are wasting our time, I will hit you with sanctions so hard that your ancestors will feel them."_

* * *

Tegan wasn't answering her phone - not for Annalise, anyway - and she wouldn't respond to her texts. Annalise had no choice but to confront Tegan face-to-face, which was the last thing Annalise wanted to do on a night like this. She was drained and she was hungry and she was afraid, but if even one of the partners got to Tegan before Annalise did, well...Annalise had gone behind Tegan's back and blatantly disregarded her instructions. It wouldn't be pretty.

Annalise was so deep in thought that she didn't notice the sleek Jaguar in Tegan's driveway when she pulled up, parked and got out of the car. But the heavy, stacatto steps caught the attention of the young woman walking to the door. _Annalise Keating. Why am I not surprised?_

There was no question about what Shameka was about in those high heels, waist-length fur and bare legs in the middle of February. Annalise knew that whatever was underneath Shameka's coat was perfectly chiseled, silky smooth and barely covered in satin and lace. Of course Tegan would seek comfort elsewhere while ignoring Annalise's phone calls. That was her right. Still, Annalise was so full of jealousy that she could have screamed.

And what was Annalise supposed to say to Tegan, anyway? _Hey, remember when you instructed me not to make a statement on your behalf before the disciplinary board? Well, I'm busting up your booty call to tell you that I ignored your orders and I might have_ ** _really_** _fucked up your career. Let's order Italian!_

All of Annalise's courage and confidence was gone now. "Tell Tegan I stopped by. I'll catch up with her later."

"Nah." Shameka stepped forward and shoved the plastic bag in Annalise's hand. "Give this to Tegan for me. I'm gone."

"No, stay! _Please_ stay." Tegan was going to be furious enough about her job. The last thing Annalise wanted to do was mess up her sex life, too.

"Nuh-uh. Whatever you and Tegan have is too intense." Shameka fixed her eyes on Tegan's door. "I know when I've lost," she added with a touch of regret in her voice.

Annalise watched Shameka walk to her car, tugging a bit at the back of her coat a bit. There was definitely a scantily-clad ass under that fur. "Shameka!" Annalise called.

Shameka turned. "Yeah?"

There was nothing Annalise had for Tegan that could compete with those long legs and lush, pouty mouth. Those lips were supposed to be all over Tegan's body tonight. "...thank you."

"Good luck, Annalise." Shameka had worked for C&G for years, and she had wanted Tegan for about that long. But she would be damned if she got caught up in Tegan's mommy/daughter drama, especially not with a woman like Annalise. Tegan was fine, but she wasn't _that_ fine.

* * *

When Shameka called Tegan to tell her that her flight date had been pushed up to Wednesday morning and would she like to take up where they left off the night before, Tegan accepted. What she really wanted was to take a hot bath and go to bed. Tegan, who took up kickboxing in college, helped out with the women and children at the Lahey Boxing Center until Nate could hire a proper female kickboxing coach. She'd gone a little overboard at the gym burning off her anger and humiliation over being suspended, and the water in the gym showers was barely lukewarm.

Tegan was nearly out the door, phone in her hand, when she heard Nate's voice. "Did you do your cooldown stretches?" Of course Tegan hadn't done her cooldown stretches, and she would suffer for it later on that evening. "You know better." Nate handed Tegan a bottle of water when Tegan climbed back into the ring. "Hydrate, Price."

As always, the cool water was like nectar after a hard workout. Tegan had spent the last hour taking her fury out on the punching bags. _Suspended_. Tegan had never even been late to work before. She would never rise higher than managing partner now. And for what? For the likes of Annalise goddamned Keating? "Let's make this quick, Nate." Tegan settled on the floor and grabbed Nate's outstretched arms. "I have plans tonight."

"One of your girls, huh? Don't deny it," Nate teased when Tegan ducked her head. "I can tell by your smile."

Tegan set her phone down. "Shameka. You remember her from last night?" Nate shrugged. "The black one in the silver dress. Brown-skinned, thick thighs..." 

"Pretty smile," they finished together. Nate nodded. "So you're gonna settle for No Frills Annalise when you're this close to getting the real thing, huh?" 

It was a waste of time for Tegan to deny her attraction. "You warned me, Nate. She's under my skin, just like you said." Tegan guzzled more water and wiped her face with her shirt. "The worst part is that I don't even care. The way she makes me feel? When things are going well - when we're just kicking it at home or out to lunch or working on cases together? Annalise makes me feel...she makes me feel..."

"Alive?" Nate suggested. He knew very well what Tegan was going through. Tegan nodded. "I hear crack makes you feel the same way." 

Suddenly, Tegan felt desperate. Not only was Annalise under her skin, but she was in Tegan's blood. "I just took a two week suspension to save her drunk ass," Tegan said out loud. 

"Because of Annalise last night?" Tegan gave Nate a brief run-down of the disciplinary board, though she left out the part about the two of them making out in Tegan's office. "How did you get over her, Nate?" Tegan pleaded. "I swear, I have to stop thinking about her...how did you do it?" 

"Not by banging random women from parties." Nate helped Tegan to her feet. "Why are you doing this to yourself, Tegan? You don't have anything to prove to anybody. We all know you're a pimp. If Annalise is the woman you want, go and get her," he encouraged. "You two would be great together."

"Maybe that's what it is. I've always been able to get the women I wanted until Annalise." Truth was, Tegan never even had to try. She was the kind of girl that straight women experimented with and gay girls fell in love with. Did Tegan just want Annalise because Annalise didn't want her? "Nate...I told her how Annalise feel last night," Tegan admitted. The two of them began their standing stretches. "She turned me down cold. I even asked her outright if she was choosing Robert over me. She did." 

"And then she broke up with him the same night," Nate informed her. "That has to mean something to you. You think Annalise would have broken up with what's-his-face if she wasn't feeling some kind of way about you?"

"Doesn't mean shit to me." Nate raised an eyebrow. "I don't know how she feels about me. She won't tell me how she feels, or even if she feels anything at all. What I do know is that Annalise doesn't want to be with me. She made that very clear." Tegan snatched her phone off the floor and shoved it in her back. "This girl wants me. So that's what I'm going to do. And I don't want to talk about me and your sloppy seconds anymore." It was hard not to feel a little jealous of Nate, since he'd gotten what Tegan had long wanted.

"Hey. There's nothing sloppy about Annalise." Nate pursed her lips and smiled, and Tegan laughed. Talking about the woman that Tegan wanted and Nate had already had could get uncomfortable. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. What I'm saying is that Annalise isn't the same woman she was when we were together. Annalise is so much better now. It's too late for us." Nate put an arm around Tegan and kissed her forehead. "So go get her, little sister," he encouraged. "And leave these other woman alone, Tegan. I mean it. No good can come from what you're planning to do tonight," he added with a shake of his head as Tegan headed for the showers. He knew Tegan was going to ignore his advice and just make things even worse. 

"Fuck," Tegan mumbled hours later when her driveway was flooded with headlights. Tegan had meant to change when she got home from the gym, but had forgotten. At least she'd showered. Shameka wasn't coming over for Tegan's clothes anyway. She was coming over to get laid, and that was something that Tegan was determined to deliver.

While Tegan stood in the hallway waiting for Shameka to knock (she wasn't going to just open the door - too eager) Tegan thought about Telasco then. Oh God, Claire Telesco was so good in bed. Tegan hadn't gotten laid for months until that night - and despite what everybody thought, she hadn't gotten any since. Tegan might have enjoyed that night (the fact that it helped Annalise was a bonus), but she missed being in a relationship, even if it was a bad one. She didn't just want sex. Tegan wanted love.

Annalise loved Tegan. Of that, Tegan had no doubt. Even her rejection demonstrated the love she had for Tegan, for Annalise had never said that she didn't feel the same way. Annalise could have lied to Tegan outright, but anyone could see that Annalise was trying to protect Tegan from heartache. For that, Tegan loved her even more.

Surprisingly, Tegan rarely dreamed of Annalise in a sexual manner. Her raciest fantasies were the two of them curled up in each other's arms naked, enjoying the afterglow of...whatever they'd done. Past that, Tegan's mind went blank. She'd been ashamed of herself the first time she woke up with that familiar slickness between her thighs - the day Annalise had kissed her inner thigh - but that could be understood, even condoned. There was no excuse for last night, kiss or no kiss. A managing partner getting herself off at work? _I should have been suspended just for that._

It had taken everything in Tegan not to return Annalise's texts and calls tonight. She desperately wanted to hear her friend's voice that night telling her that everything at C&G would be alright...no, that wasn't true. Tegan wanted Annalise to be pulling up in her driveway with Chinese food and "a few surprises" as Shameka had promised her over the phone. "You've gone soft, Price," Tegan told her reflection in the hallway mirror. It was what Jorge had told her years ago when she told him that she was getting married. He was right then, and she was right now.

 _What is taking so long?_ Tegan wondered when Shameka still didn't come to the door, although she really didn't care all that much. But Tegan was determined to get Annalise out of her system. She had a two-week (unpaid) vacation, and she was not about to waste one more minute thinking about Annalise Keating - who, unlike Tegan, had a job to report to in the morning. The Unicorn was back on the hunt, and Tegan had a lot of lost time to make up for.

Finally, Tegan's doorbell rang. She went to answer the door and let Shameka in, but even then she wished to God that it was Annalise on the other side. She wanted it to be Annalise, needed it to be Annalise, oh God why couldn't it be-

* * *

"Annalise?"

Annalise looked up. _Five minutes._ Her time was ticking. The cards that were in her hands might as well have in Sanskrit. Why was she even here? To plead for herself? To apologize? To brag about how she got one off over the Board? No, Annalise was here to make things right for Tegan. But how?

Tegan would have had the Board's full attention even before she opened her mouth. These five senior partners looked bored and pissed off. Kensington was actually texting somebody. These people had no interest in what she had to say, save for Jensen, who just needed her to say a single word to push for a censure.

Annalise didn't have Tegan's gift of gab or sparkling wit. She couldn't command a room full of senior partners the way Tegan could. Annalise's dark skin and thick body made her a threat to the men in this room, and possibly the envy of Lila Markell. Add that to Annalise's smart mouth and victory over the Board...but was it really a victory when Tegan had taken the fall?

" _Ms. Keating!"_ Markell spoke up sharply. "If you do not say anything _very_ soon, this meeting will be dismissed."

No legal citations or past pretenses were going to help Annalise now. No passionate pleas on Tegan's behalf would do any good. And she certainly didn't have the pleasant personality and calm disposition to communicate with this Board. All Annalise had was 1/2 a chance in Hell to make things right. She'd faced off against bigger and better and more formidable foes than this ragtag group of lawyers, but never had Annalise had so much on the line.

Annalise set her citation cards down on table and took a deep breath. It was now or never. She nodded to Markell to acknowledge the lone woman in the room. "Gentlemen..."

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Tegan looked over Annalise's shoulder just long enough to see a pair of headlights driving down her street. "Where's Shameka?"

"Don't know and don't care. She was quite eager to come up and see you until she saw me." Annalise smirked. "Maybe she went back home to do her homework." Annalise held up the plastic bag. "She left you a couple of gifts."

"You ran her away? _I was about to get some!"_ Tegan glanced away when she said that. She didn't want Annalise to know that she was more relieved at Shameka's departure than angry. "Why are you even here, anyway?"

"I'm here to tell you to report to work tomorrow. You've been reinstated at C&G." Annalise gave a quick, mocking curtsy. "You're welcome." 

"The Board reinstated me?" No one on the Board had called Tegan to tell her this...but Annalise had called her four times. And that meant..."Annalise, do _not_ tell me that you deliberately went against my orders and made a statement to the Board - which is exactly what I told you not to do." 

"Ah, technically I didn't disregard your orders," replied Annalise. "You were not my boss at the time I made the statement. And the Board gave me permission to make a statement once you were suspended." 

_The nerve of this bitch!_ "So now I'm reinstated? Which means that I'm your boss again?" 

"Yep. You go back tomorrow. Actually," Annalise added, "I got the Board to agree to pay you whether you go back or not. So you really have more of a two-week paid vacation if you want it. Or you can always go back." 

"Oh, I'm going back," Tegan seethed. "You better believe I'm going back, Annalise. And the first thing I'm going to do is suspend you for insubordination." 

"Insubordination?" Annalise scoffed. "What is this, high school? You gonna make me run laps around the track?" 

"Keep it up and you'll be running your ass to the welfare office!" Tegan threatened. "I don't have to call a board to fire your ass! I did it because you're my friend. But this? You've crossed the line! Three days unpaid suspension-"

"Make it five," Annalise shrugged. "I don't give a shit. I'm not sorry and I'd do it again." 

"Say one more smart-ass thing to me and I'll make it 10!" Tegan threatened. That made Annalise's eyebrows raise. "Ten days unpaid suspension if you as much as _breathe_ too hard right now, Annalise. You've undermined me for the last time, and I swear to God that I will do this!" She would, too. Love or no love, Annalise had gone too far this time. 

And Annalise had the nerve to laugh at Tegan's threat, right in her face. "You can't suspend me, Tegan," she gloated. "Not for three days or five days or five years. I've already resigned my position." 

Annalise's words hung in the air as Tegan struggled to comprehend them. _"You what?"_

"I resigned from Caplan and Gold," Annalise repeated. "In exchange, the Board will remove the suspension from your record. You're going back to C&G and I'm going back to Middleton to teach full-time." Annalise folded her arms and walked up to Tegan. "So you can take your suspension and shove it up your pompous ass, Tegan Price. 

Tegan felt her knees buckle. "Annalise...tell me you didn't do this." She half walked, half crawled to her couch, snatched the bottle of gin off the coffee table, and started to pour with a heavy hand. "You can't do this." Tegan felt as desperate as Annalise had just hours ago. "Your career - your _contract_ \- they'll never honor it. They won't pay it out!"

Annalise nodded. "I know."

"And you're resigning? That means you can't file for unemployment! You would've been better off if they fired you! Annalise, you _can't_ do this! We can fix this. I know we can."

"It's already done, Tegan." Annalise's calm voice clashed with Tegan's fury. She joined a shaking Tegan on the couch, took the glass of gin from Tegan and set it back on the table. "And I'm not sorry for it. I'd do it again. This time, Tegan, we're putting you first."

Annalise had hurt Tegan so many times that she couldn't even count them. Now she was abandoning her again when Tegan needed her the most. Yes, she was managing partner again, but so what? Having over 320 employees watching her every move without Annalise there to support her? Who was going to have her back now - _Bonnie?_ "Annalise, _please_ don't leave me at C&G alone," she begged. "I need you by my side."

"No, you don't. You never did. Hell, they made you managing partner when I was in rehab, remember? And you kicked ass while I was gone, even with the FBI investigating you for murder. You waste more time babysitting me than anything else. I'm not built for corporate law. Tegan. I can't even get through a fundraiser without having you bail me out." That reminded Annalise of something. "You never told me why you acted the way you did last night."

"Jealousy," Tegan admitted. "Like I said, all I ever wanted was for you to _see_ me. To give me a chance, just a _chance_..."

"I told you that I couldn't do that. And I told you why." This girl was so damned hard-headed! "Come here, Tegan." Tegan shook her head no. But Annalise's voice was like a siren call. She couldn't resist it. Soon she was curled up on her own couch, her head against Annalise while she murmured words of praise. "You think I don't see you, Tegan? How could I not see you out there shining? I am _so_ proud of you. You're the best thing in my life. I _do_ see you." She tilted Tegan's face, and Tegan would never forget how calm and peaceful Annalise looked. "I see you and I _love_ you."

 _"Don't say that!"_ Tegan shoved Annalise away, much to her surprise, and sprang to her feet. The little woman was a lot stronger than she looked. "You didn't even want me three hours ago and now you're sitting here holding me and spouting pithy rehab quotes?!" Annalise's eyes grew wide, and Tegan knew she had gone too far. But she couldn't take it back, and Tegan had plenty more to say. "Oh sure, you love me _now_. You love me when I'm risking everything for you - my job, my safety...as long as it benefits you. But when it all sinks in and I can't do anything for you anymore, you'll change your mind. What're you're saying to me right now...you're all talk, Annalise! It's just words to you!"

Annalise grabbed Tegan by her collar and pushed her against the wall. Her kiss was long and deep and so full of passion that Tegan grabbed the back of her head and matched Annalise's intensity. Annalise placed her hands underneath Tegan's hoodie and ran her hand up and down Tegan's stomach, enjoying how the muscles in her abs twitched. "Words," Annalise repeated. She wrapped her arms around Tegan's waist and pushed her back down on the couch. "Like the words I said to the Board today," she whispered from above, her lips brushing across Tegan's ear.

From underneath, Tegan froze. She didn't. She _couldn't_ have. Annalise hadn't even told Tegan how she felt until just right now. "You told the _Board?"_

"Tegan. Don't worry." Annalise sat up straight and reached for Tegan's hand. "It's going to be okay-"

"Don't give me that!" Tegan broke from Annalise's grasp. "I _told_ you to not to make a statement to these people. And you sat there and told them..." Actually, Tegan had no idea what Annalise had told them." What did you tell them, Annalise?" Annalise looked away then, and Tegan trembled with anger. "Answer me, goddamn it!" she screamed with a hard shove to Annalise's shoulder. " _What did you say?"_

* * *

"I love Tegan Price."

That got the Board's undivided attention. Five sets of eyes were squarely on Annalise now. _Maybe now things will finally get better now that you've admitted that you love Tegan_ , Michaela had told her earlier. It was getting better, just now. "I've never said those words out loud before, not even to myself. And honestly, I feel like something has been crushing me and now it's off my chest. This secret that I've been hiding from Tegan is what led to all this chaos. That's something I have to take responsibility for. I apologize to you all for my behavior last night. No excuses."

Annalise gave the Board a few moments to process her confession, then went on. "The reason why Tegan did not disclose what we were arguing about is because she _doesn't know_ what we were arguing about. She has no idea how I feel about her. ( _Boy, is_ _ **that**_ _a lie,_ Annalise thought to herself.) All Tegan knows is that I'm being nasty with her and biting and sarcastic-"

"Isn't that your natural personality?" Kensington cut Annalise off. Rude, but at least he'd put his phone down.

"The fact that Tegan refused to lie to this Board," Annalise went on, "even in the face of potential employment troubles, displays the kind of integrity and honor that Caplan and Gold works to exemplify on a daily basis."

"Okay. I'm done with this," Jensen interrupted. "All this lying is making my head hurt. Annalise, Lionel and I just saw you not even 20 minutes ago holding Tegan in a loving embrace-"

"My name is _Ms. Keating_ to you, Mr. Jensen." Recall meeting or no recall meeting, Annalise was tired of the disrespect. "And it is my turn to speak, not yours."

"Continue, Ms. Keating," Markell instructed, although Annalise got the feeling that she was more interested in juicy gossip than Tegan's moral character. Well, if Lila Markell wanted juice, Annalise would give her whole damn orange grove.

"I want to make it very clear that Tegan has _never_ acted towards me in an unprofessional or unethical manner. We are not romantically involved, despite what Mr. Jensen is trying to imply. What I'm saying is that Tegan should _not_ have been forced to answer a question when she didn't know the answer to it. She didn't want to lie. Can't you all see that?"

"But Ms. Price _did_ lie to the Board about your actions with that drink," Gold pointed out. "You stand here and speak of Tegan's integrity and whatnot, but that doesn't take away from the fact that-"

"I'm here to resign, Mr. Gold." Annalise couldn't allow the Board to reexamine Tegan's story. She had lied then, just as Annalise was lying now. "Reinstate Tegan and strike the suspension from her record," she offered. "And I'll resign from Caplan and Price today. Right now."

"Gladly," Jensen agreed, and Kensington nodded. "Fine with me." They weren't even going to _consider_ keeping Annalise.

"I decline your proposal," Markell said. "Why should we give you a golden package on your way out the door because of your poor behavior? If you're going to be this big of a problem, we could always just fire you and uphold Ms. Price's suspension anyway."

"You could do that, but it wouldn't be a wise decision." Annalise was treading on thin ice, but she went on anyway. "I doubt if Tegan would appreciate that, _especially_ once she learns that I offered to quit in her place. That's the kind of thing that makes people look for employment elsewhere."

This caused the partners to murmur among themselves. An Afro-Latina woman with Tegan's credentials could write her own ticket. "When the world finds out that you suspended one black lesbian attorney and suspended a bisexual one just minutes after she told you about her sexuality, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission will swarm into this office like locusts."

Caplan rose to his feet. "How dare you accuse-!" he began.

"But if you reinstate Tegan," Annalise hurried along, "I will sign a non-disclosure agreement stating that I will never sue this firm or speak against you. Otherwise, I will start calling civil rights attorneys first thing in the morning."

"Ms. Keating," Gold spoke up. "I'm not going to sit here and listen to your veiled threats much longer."

"This isn't a threat - it is a warning to every one of you." Annalise locked eyes with Gold. "Bring Tegan back, and I will leave. Otherwise, I swear on the souls of my ancestors that I will either bring this firm down or I will die trying."

Annalise sat in her chair and waited for the decision. She hadn't intended to tender her resignation. But the more Annalise talked to these senior members, the more she realized that she'd been an ill fit at Caplan and Gold. Annalise was a defense attorney, not a corporate lawyer. She had no place here. Tegan did.

"Ms. Keating," Gold finally spoke, his jaw clenched. "We accept your resignation. But there will be some concessions."

That didn't sound good. The last time concessions were being offered, Annalise had Emmett Crawford by the balls. "Such as?"

"Your contract will be terminated immediately," Gold informed her. "This firm will not pay out one dime towards the remainder of your contract _or_ your retirement. You will not collect unemployment. You will sign a non-disclosure agreement that states that you will not even _speak_ of your employment here, let alone sue us. The firm will verify your employment dates if asked, but nothing else. Any stocks or other investments you've made to this firm will be lost. Do you accept these terms?"

These were _crippling_ terms. The damage that Annalise would agree to would put her finances in turmoil. She wouldn't even get the paycheck she was due in two weeks. Her retirement? That was money she'd already earned, and now it be forfeited. And she didn't even know if Middleton would offer her a full-time contract. Annalise couldn't afford her penthouse on a part-time salary. "I accept your terms, Mr. Gold...if Tegan is paid for the two weeks she would have been suspended otherwise."

"Unbelievable..." Markell commented, astonished at Annalise's gall. "If Tegan wants to be paid for two weeks, she needs to return to work tomorrow. Otherwise, forget it. You expect us to give a paid vacation to a woman who lied in order to protect you?"

"I expect you to give a paid vacation to a woman whom you have put through great anguish," Annalise answered, "especially since you continue to slander Ms. Price by calling her a liar when two witnesses have verified her story _and_ mine. Unless you want to pay that kind of money in punitive damages-"

"Done, done, done! _Shit!_ " Gold interrupted. "Whatever it takes to end this damned meeting." 

Annalise couldn't help herself. "Can I have a pony?"

Gold rose from the table, as did the other partners, and threw Annalise a look of pure hatred. "First thing tomorrow morning, your resignation papers will be drawn up in the human resources office and sent to you by courier. Your office will be packed up, and your belongings will be shipped to you. Turn in your key and badge before you leave today. If you set foot on this building between now and the time you sign your documentation, you will be arrested and charged for trespassing. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Annalise answered. "I agree to your terms."

"Fine. This meeting is over." Not one of the partners rose to shake her hand. These people who were courting her for junior partner just last night wouldn't even speak to her, save for Mark Caplan. "Goodbye, Ms. Keating and good luck." Under his breath, he added, _"and good riddance."_

* * *

By the time Annalise was finished telling Tegan about the meeting, Tegan was knocking back her third glass of gin. It wasn't just bad, all right - it was worse than Tegan could have dreamed. "Let me see if I can get this straight," she recapped. "You blatantly went against my wishes and made a statement to the disciplinary board. You told these people that you love me - something you've never even told _me_ before. You threatened them with an EEO lawsuit. And then you quit, so I have to go and face these people by myself. Is that right?"

It didn't sound so great when Tegan said it. "You said it yourself. Caplan and Gold wants you. They don't want me. This is a win-win situation."

"Win-win? Do you know what your confession is going to do to my reputation? I'm your supervisor - I can't be sleeping with my employees!"

"We're not sleeping together, remember?" Annalise pointed out.

 _"They're not going to believe that, Annalise!_ Especially not after today!"

"Tegan, you _will_ continue to climb at C&G now that I'm gone. If they try to hold you down, then I will be in your corner. Guns blazing," she added, making Tegan smile, just a little. "Remember when you promised me that?" Tegan nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat. "Now it's my turn."

Tegan wanted to believe Annalise so badly. What had Bonnie said this morning? _"She's in love with you, Tegan. I don't even think she realizes it because she doesn't recognize it. But I do."_ This was what Tegan had been waiting to hear for long...so why didn't Annalise's declaration of love make her happy? Maybe it was Annalise had done it in such a grand, show-off type of fashion, when all Tegan needed was a soft word and a gentle caress. 

"And you can always quit and start your own practice," Annalise encouraged further. "I had a private practice once - it's not that hard. I'll help you build it from the ground up. Okay?" she continued when Tegan didn't answer. "I don't have to practice law with you, just...let me help you. I just want to be near you."

"Okay, this is wild." The alcohol was starting to kick in a bit for Tegan. "Just this morning, you said that you can't be with me," Tegan pointed out. "Now you love me and you want to build a firm with me? And another thing - if you love me so damned much, then why didn't you tell me that you broke up with Robert last night!?"

"I had a hearing to worry about, remember? The disciplinary board? I haven't had Robert on my mind since he left the party last night."

Tegan shook her head. "No. That's not why you didn't tell me. You didn't tell me because you _still_ didn't want to be with me. You told me that just this morning, remember?" Annalise just shook her head. _She doesn't get it...she won't listen._

"Look," Tegan offered. "If you want me to sleep with you, I'll sleep with you. But don't lie to me, Annalise. Lie to yourself if you have to, but don't _ever_ lie to me."

"You'll sleep with me? Now who's lying?" Annalise started to laugh. "You wouldn't sleep with me. And you weren't going to sleep with that girl, either. Just like you didn't sleep with her last night."

Had Bonnie told after all? "How did you know that?"

Annalise winked. "Because you just told me."

Tegan had fallen for the oldest trick in the book of lawyering. It was a sign of fatigue. "Annalise, I'm tired," Tegan announced. " _You're_ tired. You make me tired. This whole situation makes me tired. And if you say 'I'm sorry,'" Tegan went on when Annalise started to speak, "I swear that whole bottle of gin is going upside your head."

Annalise crossed her arms. "So that's it? We still need to talk, you know."

"Do we?" Tegan asked, her voice thick with exhaustion and gin. "Even if you say you love me, it's not the kind of love I feel for you. I don't just want you for one night, Annalise. I don't want this bullshit friendship we have right now. I want to _be_ with you. And if you don't want that like I want it..." Tegan shook her head, blinking back tears.

"You know, the ultimatums are stating to get old, Tegan. It's all or nothing for you, isn't it? You're talking about us having an honest-to-goodness relationship when we haven't even gone out on a date yet?"

Tegan let out a bitter laugh. "Annalise, we've been dating for a year. _We just never gave it a name."_

That struck Annalise in a different kind of way. All the movies and the salsa dancing, all the lunches and dinners and nights spent over each other's houses working on cases that the two of them weren't even on together, just to be close to each other. All the sleepovers under the guise of _it's-too-late-for-you-to-be-out-at-night._ Tegan would always take the loveseat and Annalise would take the couch. All the laughter and the food and movies...Tegan's hands running lovingly through her hair with such skill that Annalise would fall asleep. The way Tegan stroked her face to wake her up...Annalise lived for that. Oh, God. _Who am I kidding?_ Tegan was _her_ girl, even if Annalise hadn't been hers. For the longest time, that arrangement seemed to be fine for the both of them. But now... _You're right, Annalise. I deserve way better than you._

Yet even with the realization that Annalise just might lose Tegan this night, she still couldn't move or speak. It was the same as always. "I'm going to take a hot bath and go to bed. If you love me like you say you do, come join me. If you don't, make sure you close the door behind me when you leave." Tegan's eyes and voice grew hard. "No more games, Annalise. Either come correct or go home." 

With that, Tegan walked away, out of her own living room without waiting for Annalise's answer. She couldn't bear to be disappointed the love of her life _again_ tonight. There would be plenty of time for Annalise to let Tegan down in the future just like she always did.

TBC

* * *

Note: the new title comes from a song from The Nazz: _"I really don't know/when or where to go/and I can't see a thing til' you open my eyes."_


	7. Wait for It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Come correct or go home." Annalise has a choice to make...but she's not known for making good ones.

Running a bath in Tegan's tub was not an easy thing. After Tegan bought her townhouse, she'd spent thousands of dollars having a one-of-a-kind antique bathtub resurfaced, fitted and drilled. Tegan loved the depth, color and especially the size of her unique tub - large enough for two, easily - and the vintage marble held heat longer than most tubs would once the water temperature was finally balanced. Would Annalise join her here tonight - and not just in her fantasies this time?

Tegan's cabinets were filled with all types of soaps and body scrubs - all in full sets, of course, with matching candles and bath oils. Tegan settled on a clean-smelling and simple set called Stress Relief. She wanted to use Love - a delicious mixture of rose and vanilla - but didn't want to jinx things. It was all so silly, Tegan knew. But these were the small things that Tegan loved. The preparation and anticipation of it all.

Tegan turned on the water. Poured in the bubble bath. Waited. Added the body oil, swished the water around, and waited. Lit the candles in her bathroom, then in the adjoining bedroom. Waited. She only had the Love candles for her bedroom, so that meant she had to start the bath over with the Love-scented set after all. Tegan swallowed the burning in her throat as she switched out the candles with a shaking hand. She knew what was happening but went through the steps anyway, as if finishing this ritual would make Annalise appear at the door.

Tegan drained the first bath and started a new one with the Love-scented oils and soap to match the candles. Waited. Fiddled around with the water temperature - hot, cold, warm, cold, hot - and waited. Finally, the water was deliciously warm and bubbly with the slightest bit of steam rising. Tegan sank chin deep into the water, closed her eyes, and let the tears spill from her eyes as she waited. And waited. And waited.

 _Come correct or go home._ If Annalise had punched Tegan in the mouth, it wouldn't have hurt as much as this did.

It just didn't make sense! That kiss they'd just shared, and the closeness from the night before - it couldn't be fake, it just couldn't be. And why on earth would Annalise tell a room full of white strangers that she loved her just turn around and stand her up now? The answer came to Tegan as soon as she asked herself the question. "She didn't mean it," Tegan said aloud. Annalise dropped the love bomb to protect herself under EEOC law - the law that made it illegal to fire someone for their sexual orientation - before offering up her resignation.

 _We're going to put you first for a change,_ Annalise promised. But nothing could have been further from the truth. Annalise's declaration of her so-called love for Tegan was to save her own ass, allowing her to resign instead of getting fired. No more, no less. And Annalise knew, as Tegan knew, that if anyone from C&G called her, Tegan would loudly would proclaim her love for Annalise in front of the Board, regardless of what it would do to her own career.

Hot, angry tears filled Tegan's eyes. Why was she chasing some drunk AARP bitch, anyway? Tegan had been pulling bad bitches since she was a 16-year-old undergraduate at Stanford. With her impish smile and confident attitude, Tegan was kind of girl that straight women "experimented" with and lesbians fell in love with. Her youth made it easy to get away with many things, while her beauty kept women fighting for her and fighting over her. It was all a game to Tegan when she was young, who used and discarded those women like condoms. Was it possible that Tegan's desire for Annalise simply because Annalise was the only woman who ever told her no?

A familiar, tired feeling washed over Tegan. It wasn't the usual work fatigue or stress, but the kind of emotional exhaustion that made Tegan want to close her eyes forever. Long ago, Cora had convinced Tegan that no one would else ever love her, and she needled Tegan with that fact every time Tegan became angry or upset. _"Who's gonna want you with your issues, Tegan?"_ she would taunt, and the words would cut Tegan to the bone. The day Cora made it clear that she no longer loved her wife, Tegan longed to run away and join her family once and for all. To walk on Earth without a single soul to love her...what was the point?

Shameka popped into her mind just then. Sweet, sexy Shameka. Maybe - just _maybe_ \- Tegan could convince Shameka to come back over. ( _Of course she'll come over,_ Tegan thought wearily. _They always do_.) Tegan hadn't seen what was in the bag Annalise brought over, but she knew Shameka well enough to have a feeling of what was inside. Tegan could even cook for her, laugh and converse and drink gin with Shameka - no more sipping on sparking water to accommodate some drunk, washup of a lawyer. Run another warm bubble bath for two in her impressive antique tub. Light the candles. Pour the oil. Explore what was in that bag. Bring Shameka in her sanctuary and into her bed. Drive Annalise out of her mind once and for all. 

But before Tegan could get back into her unicorn mindset, a bubble of cool air crept into her perfectly warm pocket of steam and light poured into the room. If Tegan spoke or even looked in the direction of the light, everything would vanish. So Tegan said nothing. Now Annalise would have to be the one to wait.

* * *

After Tegan left Annalise alone to her thoughts, Annalise knocked down a glass of gin before remembering that she hated gin. She had no business drinking anyway. Hell, her _business_ had left a trail of abandoned clothing for her to follow down the hall to the bathroom. It was crazy to see Tegan's back moving away from her, for Annalise had every intention of taking Tegan's hand and walking to the bathroom with her. As always, Annalise's feet stayed glued to the floor, and all Tegan could do to save face was walk away.

How would Annalise greet Tegan after acting in such a manner? Blouse opened? Bare-breasted? Wrapped in one of Tegan's thick, plushy towels? Tegan certainly would have sauntered in wearing nothing but high heels, but Annalise was too self-conscious to pull such a stunt. Annalise cleaned up well, but underneath the expensive clothes and shoes were stretch marks, cellulite, sagging breasts and that hideous Cesarean section scar. Even the thatch of hair between her thighs sported strands of gray.

Annalise tried to think about her good features. Her skin was smooth and clear, her lips were lush and her body was relatively toned for a woman her age. _A woman my age._ Annalise was old enough to be Tegan's mother. Would Tegan laugh once Annalise took all her clothes off? Wrinkle her nose? She would never forget the look on Nate's face when he first saw Annalise's c-scar. It wasn't disgust, _per se,_ but there was a faint look of disapproval that cut Annalise to the core. Nate always avoided touching that scar when they made love. Sam ignored it altogether. Even Eve had gone as far as to suggest a tattoo to cover it up, as if her eyes couldn't stand the sight of something so ugly. _Tegan isn't like that_ , a voice whispered in her head. _Tegan likes you just the way you are._ But was that really true?

When Annalise's phone beeped, she realized that she'd been sitting in Tegan's living room for over half an hour. _"Shit!"_ Quickly, Annalise dashed down the hall to Tegan's linen closet, grabbed some towels, and ducked into the guest bathroom. She'd wanted to be naked underneath her towel, but settled on stripping down to her underwear, bringing her discarded clothes with her, and wrapping the towel around her waist. If Tegan rejected her, at least Annalise could put her clothes back on and make a hasty exit.

* * *

It was easy to forget how beautiful Tegan was. Not just boss bitch beautiful, but truly exquisite, as she was when Annalise dared to open the door and let herself into Tegan's bathroom. The sight of her in that huge tub took her breath away, her fair skin contrasting with the dark marble tub. Hair in a sloppy ponytail, her face devoid of makeup. Tegan said nothing when Annalise stepped inside the room, though her body was trembling with anger. So Annalise waited...and waited...and waited until she finally knew she would have to speak first. "Tegan?"

"You're letting out the heat." Annalise closed the door without a word. "You didn't happen to bring my gin, did you? Or my phone?"

"No. Just myself." Annalise turned down Tegan's toilet lid and sat down. Still, Tegan refused to look in Annalise's direction. "Why, you need to call another one of your hoes?" she asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Maybe. At least they don't keep me waiting."

They both knew she was lying, but Annalise was tired of arguing. "Tegan, are we going to talk about this or are we going to fight like two lesbians some shitty fan fiction story?"

"Oh, no." Tegan glared up at Annalise. "Nuh-uh. You don't get to come up in my house and try to invalidate the way I'm feeling right now. And there's nothing to fight about. You heard what I said." Tegan was in no mood for more of Annalise's word games, especially after being stood up for over half an hour in her own house.

"Half the neighborhood heard what you said." Annalise swished her hand in the warm, oil-scented water. The frothy bubbles floating on top of the deep bath water hinted at what was underneath, but the tub was too deep and lighting too dim to allow Annalise to see below the surface. "Tegan, I _do_ love you. If I'd just come to terms with that months ago, I'd be so much happier now."

"Of course." Tegan rolled her eyes. "That's what's most important, after all. Whether you are happy. How I'm feeling right now means nothing to you, does it?"

"It means _everything_ to me." Annalise leaned over and cradled Tegan's face in her hands. "Tegan, I won't lie to you and pretend I that I have the same kind of love for you that you have for me." Tegan nodded. She didn't expect any less. "But I don't want to wait anymore. I don't want to make you wait anymore." Annalise squeezed Tegan's hands in hers. "You deserve so much better than me, Tegan, and I don't know why you love me..."

"Neither do I." Tegan could see that Annalise was stung by that quip, so she kissed the back of Annalise's hand, which made her smile. "But I'm not going to drive myself crazy trying to figure it out." Tegan gently pulled Annalise beside her. "I want us to be together. I want to wake up and see you lying there. I want to fall asleep in your arms. I want to watch TV with you and bathe with you and make love to you...I _love_ you, Annalise Keating."

The words filled Annalise with anxiety. "You love Annalise Keating. That's great. But you don't know Anna Mae Harkness. She's a part of me, too. And if you think Annalise Keating is messy and brutal, well..."

"I love every facet of you that you've shown me. And If there's more about you that I need to know, I'm willing to listen and learn." Tegan reached for Annalise, bringing their faces together. "I will listen to anything you want me to hear, and I'll never push you to tell me things that you don't want me to know. Just _let me in._ " Tegan leaned back in the large marble tub. "Annalise...come here," she invited one last time.

Who else but Tegan Price would be so gracious as to give Annalise one more chance? Annalise loved the woman sitting in the bathtub, and this woman, with her infinite patience and kindness, loved Annalise even more so. But the moment Annalise rose and removed her bath towel, a funny little grin flashed across Tegan's face. Just for a second, but long enough for Annalise to see it. "What?" Annalise looked down at herself, then immediately recognized the source of Tegan's amusement.

Underneath Annalise's towel was the kind of underwear that was bought in packs of six or eight at the local Walmart - the kind that was made for comfort, not sex appeal. High-waisted with a thick elastic band, always in packs of black or white or pink - floral patterns, if one was feeling racy enough, which Annalise was apparently not at this time. 

It was all so _practical_. Black bra, black panties, both the best the Walton family could provide. A bubble of laughter clawed its way up Tegan's throat. She managed to swallow it down, but the smile didn't get past Annalise. "What?" she asked again, wrapping the towel tightly back around her body and folding her arms over her chest.

Tegan shook her head, smiling. How could she make Annalise understand that even in tired-ass Walmart panties, Annalise was the most beautiful woman she'd ever seen? Annalise would never believe her. "You're _so_ beautiful," Tegan finally said. "Hell, I always knew you were beautiful, but..."

It was a trite, weak statement, and Tegan cursed herself for saying something so corny. Still, Annalise's eyes lowered. "Thank you," she said so quietly that she could barely be heard. When Annalise dared to look up again, Tegan was beaming. Annalise knew that Tegan was being genuine. Still, it unnerved her. "Can you turn around?" Annalise blurted.

"Turn around?" Tegan asked, puzzled by the strange request.

"Turn around or close your eyes...or...or blow out the candles. _Please_ , Tegan," Annalise begged. "Just turn around." Standing in front of this Puerto Rican princess in her grocery store-bought underwear, she felt like Anna Mae Harkness again - the dirt-poor, kinky-haired little girl from Memphis, with clothes that reeked of smoke and legs perpetually "greased" with Vasoline. With her light, freckled skin, young body and pullback hair, there was no way Tegan could understand how insecure Annalise was feeling.

Maybe Tegan got it. Maybe she didn't. Either way, Tegan simply nodded and turned her body around, facing the wall while Annalise slid out of her bra and panties and struggled not to wrap herself back up into the towel. She wanted to keep it light and flirty like Tegan when she finally got into the water. Exchange naughty little jokes. Do a little striptease, like Tegan would have done. Instead, Annalise opted to climb into the bathtub _behind_ Tegan, resting her legs on the outside of Tegan's legs underneath the water. This way, Annalise could see Tegan, but Tegan couldn't see her.

"You can sit back." Tegan leaned back, and Annalise wrapped her arms around Tegan's waist and rested her chin on a cluster of freckles on Tegan's shoulder. From here, all she could do was lean back and pray. For a while, the women sat in silence, listening to the soft lapping of the scented bathwater. "Mmmm...this is nice," Annalise commented. The stress of unemployment and disciplinary hearings faded away with Tegan in her arms.

"Is the water too hot?" Tegan asked. "My wife used to say that I ran my baths too hot."

"Your wife was a fool and I'm not interested in her opinion." Annalise's fingers explored the side of Tegan's neck and shoulders, followed by her lips. Tegan tilted her neck, giving Annalise access to that ugly bruise on Tegan's neck. "I'm so sorry for this." Annalise kissed the mark tenderly, letting her hands wander up and down Tegan's neck and shoulders. It was unfair, Annalise knew, but Annalise wasn't ready to face Tegan just yet, especially not after The Great Granny Panty Incident. Besides, Tegan had a few tricks up her own sleeve, playfully wriggling and stretching her body. "Why are you grinding your ass against my cunt?" Annalise asked, pinching Tegan's left hip under the for good measure.

"What? I'm just trying to get comfortable." Tegan threw a smile over her shoulder that was so sweet and innocent that butter would have melted in her mouth. "How many times do I have to tell you broads that I'm not just looking for sex?" Tegan flicked a mound of bubbles into Annalise's face. "I just want to relax with you. You can't see me anyway."

That was true. The water covered Tegan all the way up to her neck, and even blowing away some bubbles kept Tegan's naked body a secret. Meanwhile, Tegan was leaning back on Annalise's bare breasts, not visible from her angle. "I don't see much of you, either," Annalise pointed out. "You're almost completely in the water."

"I can change that, you know," Tegan teased. "If you want me to..."

Why, why, _why_ did Tegan keep putting Annalise in these Choose Your Own Adventure situations? _Come correct or go home_. As if Annalise would dream of leaving _._ "I'd like to see that." It was nearly a year overdue, but Annalise finally made her intentions clear. She didn't just love Tegan - she wanted her.

Smiling, Tegan broke Annalise's hold as she rose to her feet. And _oh, my God_ , Tegan was more beautiful that Annalise could have dreamed. Breasts high and firm, waist wee, thighs soft and supple with her ass sitting just right. Parts of her body were covered by the bubbles, and Tegan flicked them away, putting Annalise eye level with Tegan's cunt, and Annalise's resolve was completely broken. She seized Tegan by her waist her nails digging into Tegan's skin, and rose to her knees, no longer giving a damn about her scars and stretch marks or anything else other than what was right in front of her.

She wanted more.

Tegan gasped as Annalise's hand slipped between Tegan's legs - not for her pussy, but for that scar that had driven her so crazy for so long. "Shit, Annalise..." Tegan murmured her approval while Annalise stroked it over and over. "That feels _so_ good." Her approval gave Annalise the courage to replace her hand with her lips, nuzzling her face deeply into Tegan's lap as she kissed the broken skin over and over again until the scent of Tegan's arousal made her jaw tremble. "Annalise." Tegan grasped Annalise by her chin and jerked her head upwards. Annalise could hear the tension. " _Are we still pretending that we're just friends?"_ Tegan asked slowly, for would certainly be the last time.

Now Annalise was the one struggling not to laugh as she peppered Tegan's stomach with soft kisses that made Tegan suck in her breath. And just before Annalise buried her face in Tegan's lap and put her mouth where they both wanted it to be, she smiled up and Tegan and emphatically said, _"No."_

TBC


End file.
